I think you wish this boy will come back for you even though you KNOW he left for good and that's the thing that's destroying you right now. You think you're accepting it, that it's over and you can finally move on but you can't. You can't because you've experienced what it's like to love and how it feels. You're intoxicated with this poison of emotion and I'm sorry there can be no instant relief. I'm sorry you are suffering and he only feels no regret. I'm sorry he can roam wherever while you're stuck in this endless cycle of devastation. I truly am sorry.
