It was 2:37 am, I was laying in my bed in the dark, looking at communism memes, crying, and thinking about how much of a lonely piece of ♥♥♥♥ I am when there was a knock at my bedroom door. Before I could even answer it, a tall man with a big ass beard barged in. I didn't know who he was, but his presence alone seemed to comfort me, like he was just an old friend who came to visit. The bearded man got in bed with me, and wrapped his tentacle-like arms around my body, caressing me and wiping away my tears. "I'm here for you, comrade", he whispered in my ear as he stroked my hair.
The man began to gently whisper the Communist Manifesto in my ear, sending a tingling sensation throughout my body. I yawned, nearly asleep, and the bearded man kissed my forehead.
All of a sudden, my father kicks the door open and turns on the light, revealing it was Karl Marx in my bed all along. "By trespassing on my private property, you have violated the NAP," my capitalist pig father pointed his gun at Marx and shot him. Karl slumped off my bed, head first onto the carpeted floor.
"NOOOOO!!!!!!!!!" I screamed, tears streaming down my face once again. "HOW COULD YOU DO THIS DAD?!?!?!?!"
My father didn't answer and left the room, leaving me to weep, like the selfish capitalist pig he is.
