As my 40th birthday was approaching I sat down and looked at memories of my life that was, that past and all those deep hidden tears that I shed silently behind closed doors. 

They say life begins at forty and that is exactly when my life started to take change. From that day, that precise moment I took that first step and started to work on my baby steps to put my past right. The tears that followed while I was sorting my past out was the hardest that I had ever experienced in my life. I was born into a family that was huge and never ending, brothers that I loved with all my heart and for those that I kept this honour intact so they could prosper in their life. Now it was my turn, I had carried that entire burden on my shoulders and now this daughter, sister wanted their help, So I started to knock on doors of my blood family, that family that said I was their daughter, I cried my heart out and begged, please it’s my turn, I need you to hold this daughters hand. They did say, yes we will be there for you, yes it's your time now as you kept our honour, that respect that we so highly held in the community. However, when the time came, that time that this daughter dreamt about all her life, to be free of this hurt, they all walked away. One by one, all of them, family members became none. I was left with the small family that our creator had made for me, as he knew one day everyone was going to walk away, as that is how my destiny was written.