Oh. Hello. Are you here for the credit card frau-reading material? Um, I'll see what I can scrape up. 

Sorry, uh, c'mon in. Don't mind the mess, I'm a bit of a hoarder. No, heh, of course that's not a real skull! Put that back, please. And don't touch the-! You did. Great. Here, I'll get you some ice, that'll burn for a while. 

Right, get settled. I have a few books you can take a look at. First up-uh...first up...hm. 

Yeah, I suppose my works are pretty limited...go check out @racefunhorsess or @Miss_Australia's profiles, they probably have something for you Marvelites out there. Or drop @Lumonous a line, she has a few recommendations you should listen to. She's straight up awesome, so feel free to quote her!

Would you like some tea? No? Oh...okay. Here, I'll guide you to the door, be sure to follow my exact footsteps. Why? Don't ask! Just do!

...

Now look. You've gone and stepped in the bear trap. Nice going. Didn't I say to follow my exact footsteps? Stay still, I'll get you out. 

Well, hey! You knew what you were getting into when you came to visit me. Don't think I haven't hear the rumours-Theodora, the town hermit. Theodora, the antisocial home librarian. Cheezus. Just call me Thea. 

Oh-BYE, THEN! I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'RE RUNNING AWAY, I'VE GOT A GREAT PERSONALITY! Aaaaaand they're gone...good going, Thea, you scared off another one....