Thank you for all of you who have commented on my story. I have re-written the prologue - same gist, different wording - taking into account everything people have said.It's interesting that you feel you've done your best and then leave it for a while. When you come back to it... you notice so much more and with the help of others can be sharper and more focused. In the words of my teacher, 'every word must matter, or ditch it.' xxx