Satan

HE'S SO FUCKING FIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I accidentally made my 5 year old cousin sad because she was gonna tell me a 6 7 joke, but I told her if she did I'd hang up on her. I thought she was gonna say it anyway and I was gonna call her like silly or crazy, but she got sad, and now that I'm thinking about it again I feel kinda bad. I did tell her I was joking, but she was upset and just didn't say it. She'll forget about it in the morning, but still. I'll get her some candy and apologize the next time I see her in person.

First drank as a 21year old was a Mike's harder strawberry pineapple, then a fireball shot

I have this accidental habit of walking quietly and seemingly just appearing out of nowhere to the terror of my family. I accidentally jumpscare someone at least twice a week

21 today!! 

I could never do one of those "calling my boyfriend by his full name" pranks because he'd get scared he did something wrong and start crying, and I'd feel so bad

I hate being sick. I'm not gonna have a voice in the slightest tomorrow between coughing and my allergies fucking me at the same time

How the FUCK has it been a year already?? That's not right!! It's not fair!! He should be here

I don't think he knows how hard I smiled after he left the room the day he called me his wife for the first time. Call me a hopeful, but I can't wait until he actually asks me to be

MEN IN CORSETS >>>>>>>>>>> MEN IN CROP TOPS >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> MEN IN SHORT SHORTS >>>>>>>>>>>> MEN IN SKIRTS >>>>>>>> MEN IN DRESSES>>>>>>>>>>>> MEN IN MAKEUP >>>>>>>>> ugh, I need to femboy-ify my man