Eli 🩷🧡💛💚🩵💜

I wish you the best in life!

why do i still miss you baby? i miss your blue eyes and freckles and thick messy dirty blonde hair. i miss your singing and your adorable nose and the notes you'd put in my locker. i miss facetimes til midnight and holding hands under the table. i miss pinning you back against my bed and seeing your face turn red. i miss picking you up from across town to hang out. i miss your weird country songs and the mud i'd find on my floor whenever you left. i miss you tickling me and i miss you texting me every morning and i miss your face softening when you looked at me. i miss your arms around my waist, on my hips, in my hair. i just miss you.

where were you?
          they will ask, eyes wide and unknowing, 
          “why didn’t you stop it all?”
          
          how do we tell them about the weight of silence?
          my love, you’re so young. 
          the days blurred together 
          and the fires felt far away until they 
          were at our own doors.
          
          we sat in rooms lit by screens,
          watching the world unravel in slow motion.
          we scrolled past the warning, 
          turned down the volume of the screams,
          we became ghosts in our own ghost towns,
          haunted by our own indifference.
          
          it wasn’t that we didn’t care.
          that could never be the case.
          we cared too much,
          so much it rotted inside of us,
          turned us hollow,
          left us paralyzed neck down.
          
          we all thought someone else would rise.
          someone else would save the world from the fires,
          the hatred, the rising sea,
          the kids stuck in the foster care system, the tortured pets.
          we thought someone would save us,
          we thought there was time, 
          we thought we were being dramatic and 
          we thought-
          but thinking was all we ever did.
          
          and now the children,
          our children,
          read about our collapse,
          their small voices trembling with disbelief. 
          “mom, how could you watch this happen?
          how could you sit back?”
          
          we want to tell them the truth,
          “baby, i was young.
          i was scared.
          i was tired.”
          i was whatever stopped me.
          hope felt like a cruel joke, and
          every step forward felt like sinking deeper into quicksand,”
          but they wouldn’t understand.
          
          how could they?
          they weren’t here.
          this is dangerous beyond their years.
          they didn’t breathe the air thick with despair,
          or feel the way the hazy sky pressed on our chests,
          until we couldn’t stand anymore.
          
          we left them a world in ruins,
          and ancient, broken civilization, 
          and we called it inevitable (but it wasn’t.)
          we left our children, our babies,
          the future,
          questions,
          questions we didn’t have the courage to answer.
          
          maybe they’ll hate us,
          maybe they’ll forgive us,
          or maybe they’ll forget,
          bury our failures under new ones.
          
          after all, 
          this is what we do.
          we watch,
          we wait,
          we fail.

Thank you so much for following me :)
          I have also followed you <3

anybody have solangelo fanfic recommendations? i've already read over 80, so maybe an underrated/less well known one? thank you! <3

we've traveled the seas, we've ridden the stars
          we've seen everything from saturn to mars
          as much as it seems like you own my heart
          it's astronomy, we're two worlds apart </3

so we've gotten 6 inches of snow- but thats on top of 8 inches of ice... so we're up to our knees in snow. NO SCHOOL YAY!!!

they told us to lower our voices, 
          as if silence ever saved a single soul.
          as if downcast eyes and stitched lips 
          could hold back the weight of a world
          built on our backs, forged from our blood.
          
          we’re told to cross our legs,
          look pretty, 
          sit up straight
          like a porcelain doll in a glass box,
          fragile enough to shatter,
          silent enough to stay whole. 
          we are not glass,
          we are not delicate, 
          we’re wildfire and steel-spinned rebellion. 
          
          my body has become a battleground, 
          a disputed territory where lawmakers play god
          with ink dipped fingers and gavel heavy hands.
          they draw lines across our skin, 
          dictate our worth,
          stamp expiration dates on our autonomy like a carton of milk,
          left to spoil.
          
          “rape” is whispered like a dirty word, or a stain we’re forced to carry
          or a scarlet letter. 
          what were you wearing?
          why were you there?
          didn’t you scream
          or fight back?
          as if survival wasn’t already an act of defiance,
          as if silence in the face of terror isn’t a prayer.
          
          and when the aftermath comes, 
          when two lines pink blossom on a plastic stick,
          when a heartbeat becomes a chain,
          when choice is stolen and rewritten as shame,
          they tell us, “this is god’s plan.”
          but what if god plants seeds in broken soil
          and calls the weeds divine?
          
          they say we are angry,
          and we are.
          we are blistering rage,
          sharp edged grief,
          an ocean rising to swallow indifference whole.
          but anger is never our only language.
          we are also love-
          unyielding, undying, unstoppable, relentless love.
          we love for ourselves, for each other, and
          for the girl who will grow up not in our shadows,
          but in the sunshine.
          
          we will not lower our voices. 
          we will not fold our hands.
          we will not be shoved around. 
          we are loud, we are leaders,
          we are bossy, we are unbroken
          we are here.
          we won’t apologize for taking up space.
          
          we aren’t asking for power,
          we’re taking it back.

Happy new year, all you lovely people. I'm manifesting a joy filled 2025 for each of you. Good luck! <3

Thanks for the follow!!