Thomas James

yo

Getting my first T shot next Wednesday 

I'm alive! I'm alive and safe! I will be leaving the shelter very soon and moving into a house where I'll be renting a room. I still work at the cafe and on the 19th I'll hopefully signing paperwork to get started on HRT. Erik debriefed all the older alters on what to expect and how to do the T shots. I work tomorrow but. Wednesday I'm filing to get my social security back and going to the house tour of my new home. Thursday I'm filing to get my stimulus of $1,200 which I'll be saving half of and using the other half to replace all the things my mom stole from me two years ago. It's all coming together for me and I'm so happy to finally be holding my own. I've also been going to therapy and it's helped tremendously. My alters and I are all seeing the world in a whole new light and changing for the better <3

I know I probably sound either absolutely bonkers or genius right now but this is 100% true. This is the stuff I think about all the time. What's been bugging me is this; I am the universe looking through this point of view, we'll call point T. I am point T. When point T looks at the world all point T sees is beauty and laughter, and reality. Point T can see things as they are and accept them as they are, even though it's very often when point T must seek the guidence and support of other points. Point T is open and aware of itself and everything around it but still chooses to see the beauty. The rest of the human race, we'll call point N. Point N sees point T but only thinks negatively. Point T is a bad influence, A corrupted child, a liar, a thief, unreliable, ignorant, A stream of trouble, a bad vibe, a coward, but only to point N. Point N cannot see how point T can see. This hurts point T because very few other points can see the beauty in point T. Point T wonders why this happens so often, so much, so inconveniently, always to points that are important to point T. The answer? I don't know. I'm still trying to figure out why point T judges himself so much. Why other points see him for so many things he isn't. Why no matter how hard he tries the other points don't see his struggle, his pain, his life as anything more than an inconvenience. Point T knows he's creative, smart, empathetic, genuine, shy, funny, and attractive. But point T is lonely. Point T doesn't want to be by himself, but point T can't be happy with other points too close or he is afraid they will eventually see how every other point sees him. Sometimes point T will push them away, sometimes point T will ignore them, sometimes point T will be afraid to meet any other points. Point T can forgive others and heal. But point T fears other points will misunderstand his behavior or words and never forgive or heal. 
          
          I have to ask. Are you like point T?

I had a dream that I was at this cosplay meeting at this library having a conversation with this guy cosplaying a ghost buster. We were just having a casual talk when suddenly he grabbed me and forced me to kiss him. I was squirming and keeping my lips pursed while he was trying to get his tongue in my mouth. Erik bursts into my dream, ripped him off by the back of him collar and knocked his ass out with one swing. Ngl if he hadn't burst I think I'd of gotten traumatized in my dream but he stopped it in it's tracks. That's why I married him <3

BTW I'm still happily married to my brain husband, Erik, In fact we just had another kid today around midnight. He is a boy and we named him Sunny

Another update since my last visit to Wattpad. 
          I was working my job, I was two weeks away from my first HRT appointment, things were just starting to get good when I woke up one morning and my knee was in so much pain I started crying. I ended up going to the hospital, getting a CT scan, not being able to go into work. The doctor said I have a build up of fluid in my knee and I couldn't go back to work until it was fixed so he scheduled me for an MRI to figure out what went wrong in my knee. Unfortunately this caused a problem with heaven's grandparents who had been driving me to these appointments. I ended up having to quit my job and got shipped off to Grand Rapids where I now live in a homeless shelter for at risk youth. It's essentially prison. Thankfully though, I asked the stars for help and now I'm hopefully going to be getting a job at a vegetarian restaurant down the street and making $15 an hour 

b-bread wife??? was there something i missed while i left wattpad???

Ok so now that I'm back it time to fill you all in one my life story since I last departed. 
          Ahem
          I lived with my mom in an apartment after we moved out of her ex's house. 
          She made friends with the wrong crowd and got on hardcore drugs. I found out on my 17th birthday when I found cocaine under my cereal bowl. Then covid hit and I was stuck in an apartment with a raging drug addict and her friends. They'd steal from her and shit and I told her it would be best if she cut them off but she decided not to listen. I came home from work one night to her selling my things to her friends for drugs. She said if I didn't have my room clean of her mess by midnight I may as well just leave so I packed stuff I'd need and I fucking left. I moved in with my friend tonda in her aunt's house a few blocks away. Soon after, Heaven moved in with us. After some time we lost heat and plumbing and I spent the winter huddled in a ball on a leather couch in -5° weather. Stephanie kicked us out for her drug addict son in January of 2021. She gave us three days to pack out shit and I ended up living with my old best friend's family. However my old best friend had just moved out and got pissed at me because she thought her mom was replacing her with me. A few months later Anna got pregnant and decided to move back in just after school ended in June. I had four days to pack my shit and find a place. Anna came home and tried to fight with me and threatened to call the police if I didn't leave. Heaven, my new best friend, came and picked me up. Her grandparents didn't want me living with them so they gave me a tent and now I live at a camp ground in a town miles away from my school and work a full time job at a different Subway. I just got my first check today from them and I'm going to buy a generator tomorrow to help keep my phone charged so I can hear my alarm go off in the morning for work. I have D.I.D with 15 alters. Soon I'll be getting HRT and I pay my own bills so I'm winning I guess?

Wow do I have a lot to update gimme a sec to type it all up