☂︎ 𝕂𝕝𝕒𝕦𝕤 ☂︎

I may be asexual but writers block has been fucking me for months

Yes I came back to Wattpad after literally YEARS and yes I updated my book 
          Any ways yeah

Why cant i just make up my damn mind..?
          I dont know what i want..
          Rather.. i dont know what my heart wants...
          Im so horrible...
          I cant quite choose what the hell i fucking want... 
          and
          I am so fucking sorry for that
          For any and every one i hurt in the process of this...
          Im just
          Sorry

Please forgive me...
          Not only for not ever updating my book..
          But for hurting people...
          Seems thats all i do..
          I hurt people...
          I apologize...
          And then i do it again..
          I yell..
          I apologize... i do it again...
          All i do is argue...
          Im..
          Im quite terrible...
          And so...
          Im sorry...
          Im sorry i hurt people..
          Im sorry i cant seem to make up my mind...
          Im sorry that my feelings are everywhere..
          And im sorry i cant make anything right..
          Im sorry i cant do anything right...
          Im just..
          Sorry..

I'm... I am so fucking sorry.. all I do is cause pain...
          To myself...
          To.. everyone around me...
          I'm sorry...
          I'm sorry that I havent been talking much... I... my depression... is bad...
          My anxiety is getting worse... I'm always shaky... and scared... and I am so sorry that it seems like I'm avoiding you... or ignoring you... I... I care... I... I promise... I just... I'm sorry... really...

I do apologize about the fact that i havent updated my book in a few months.. i um.. 
          despite what a few people who may see this may believe.. im .. im not okay.. at all..
          I have actually quite frequently thought that everything would be better off without me...
          Thats actually where i am currently..
          Everyone would simply be better off without me
          All i do is annoy people
          And complain 
          And argue
          What use am i
          Im like a filler chapter in a book 
          Here but damn near useless
          Here but no one really needs or wants me
          Just...unfortunately... here..
          And i dont want to be..
          There are two ways out of this depression 
          The long suffering way
          Or
          The short painless way
          I just need to choose which way im going 
          Am i going
          Or
          Am i suffering for a while longer
          Ill probably just.. keep going somehow.. its what i usually do

@rum_and_cocoa is your boyfriends account nameu 

I'm still writing my Gerard X Reader, but im thinking about maybe doing something different as well. Would anyone like to see (same and) different things from me and my writing?

HEYYYYYYYYYYYYY

MY PHAN/YOUTUBE ACCOUNT
          @kk2605