Hiya, I hope you don't take this negatively in anyway. I just noticed you switch writing style often, from script to a more traditional way of writing.
As someone who writes and reads, I'd advise to stick to one style so the readers won't have to adapt their flow of reading to the style currently on the chapter.
You write beautifully with the traditional writing and I'd suggest to stick to it, but you can also stick to the script style.
Of course I'm not saying to change so suddenly and rework all your previous chapters and books.
I think your story beats are good, and each chapter there's small bits of improvement (specifically referring to your RWBY book).
Again, this is a constructive criticism from a fellow writer and also a reader.
Apologies for the suddenness, I just didn't feel like dropping this as a comment on your recent chapter when I've yet to reach it (currently on ch9 as I write this).
Cheers!
