Grand Wizard Cartman

 I didn’t think it was possible for someone to out-Gryffindor me. But then I met you.

 I get off to hating everyone the same way Kyman shippers get off to abuse.

 Ily, please don’t turn me into bacon. It was just a joke.

 Excuse me, I’m not just a pig. That’s very racist to assume that. I’m actually a very specific breed, so it’s very close-minded if you to go, “Oh, she’s just a pig.”

I like your location... Can I come visit?