Sevannah Storm

"Say something hot to me in Spanish."
          Me: "Jalapeno."

I came home and my dog peed a little because he was happy to see me. None of my friends pee when they see me. I'm surrounded by fakes.

We all know Albert Einstein was a genius, but his brother, Frank, made a monster.

I accidentally asked for a 'big' instead of 'grande' at Starbucks. They took me out back and shot me in the leg.

8 Billion people on earth, and somehow, I'm the best driver. That's pretty crazy.

"I see you have been eating whatever you want and not exercising." -Pants

Actually, it's only existentialism when it comes from the existentialism region of France. Otherwise, it's just sparkling anxiety.

I always have an ace up my sleeve. No... Wait... That's a fabric softener sheet. My bad.

In England, booster shot is spelled "borcestershire" shot.

I bet jellyfish are sad that there are no peanut butter fish.