SeziaD

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Absolutely cannot wait to see what the fuck is going on with Declan though. Time travel is my shit. Can't get enough of it. Just have to wait till my life is not literally collapsing I guess

SeziaD

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Ok ranting here is kinda nice cuz it's like I have an audience but not really cuz. It's Wattpad??? LMAO.
          
          ANYWAY
          
          if you really think about it it's kind of my fault. Cuz if I didn't royally fuck up our friendship a few years ago, maybe she would have come to me about this before it was too late. Because she did tell some of her other friends because she knew it was going to happen, she just didn't know how to stop it. But none of them were in a position to actually help, the most they could do was give her advice and try and warn her. And guess who was in a position to help????? Yup. Me :DDD
          
          Because I live literally ten houses down!!!! So I could have helped her escape or hid her or some literally anything!!!! If I had known beforehand!!!!! Before she was literally trafficked!!!! But noooo I just had to go and be a fuckass 13 year old all those years ago and fuck up our friendship to a place where she wouldnt want to come to me about this stuff. To where she wouldnt ask for my help when she needed it, even if I could so easily provide it.
          
          And I knew what her parents were like, I knew something like this would happen eventually, so like. What the fuck was I thinking, letting it come to this. Why was I naive enough to think she would tell me if something was wrong after I fucked things up so bad. I was literally making PREVENTATIVE plans a week before I learned it had already happened. Because I thought something like this would happen maybe a year or two from now. Not so soon. But yeah great going, me.

SeziaD

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So yeah lol I would love to read and get caught up right now, but quite frankly reading about the characters I've loved so much for so long going through some of the same terrible emotions I'm going through right now and knowing they they're ultimately doomed???? Probably not gonna help my now barely present will to live lol.
          
          Maybe one day me and my friends can go haha guys remember when _____ got marriage trafficked hahahaha that was crazy you'd never think it considering how safe and happy and healthy she is here with us now hahahaha.
          
          Oh well. Can't fucking do anything right now. Guess I just have to act like my best friend's entire life and future isn't in danger and just. Go to college tomorrow???? Take my calc midterm???? At college. Lol. A place she liked being so much because it was the only place she was allowed outside of her home. And now she can't be there because her parents decided she'd be better off popping out some man's babies :D isn't that great.

SeziaD

It's been forever since I've been caught up with Pengiwen's Marauders lol I will get back there someday. But like wow recent events have brought me back because God I have never understood Sirius on the level I do right now.
          
          This is just gonna be a little insane 4 am rant I'm going insane ignore me lmao. I have nowhere else to say this so I'm just gonna go off right here cuz no one knows me in real life so no real life consequences :))
          
          I always did relate to him more than other characters but like. I don't know if it's just early adulthood hitting (wow I've been reading this series forever lmao I can't believe I started this as a preteen) or if I just had so much in common with Sirius as a kid that I grew up in a way that reflected his growth as well.
          
          Like one thing I never fully understood until now is how Sirius, being as intelligent as he is, can be so reckless and impulsive despite being one of the best and most strategic people when he's feeling levelheaded. Because I related to his ability to stay calm under initial pressure but I always thought that that quality contradicted how erratically he behaved when he finally did succumb to the pressure of the situation.

SeziaD

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So yeah totally feeling Sirius right now lol. I would also probably panic and tell snaps where by werewolf boyfriend was going to transform if the only other option was to wait and see if he would snitch or not because the waiting would be torture and keeping my friend safe would be worth them hating me later, just as long as they were safe in the end. But if course I would also be groveling for them to forgive me and take me back after the fact . And of course I would never learn my lesson, and I would do the stupid thing over and over again as long as it guaranteed the safety of the people I love, no matter how much it hurts our relationship. So yeah Sirius, now I finally understand why you do shit without thinking it through. Because sometimes it doesn't feel like it's worth thinking through, not when there's so much at stake. I fucking hate growing up, adult life is bullshit :)))
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SeziaD

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It's crazy looking back at how calm and collected I was the first week because I was just like "ok no time to feel The Emotions, just get a game plan together." And I did!!!!! I downloaded divorce documents, and I went to the courthouse to get restraining order papers for every single member of your family, and I called the embassy here and in the country you were trafficked to, and I got people to track your phone so I could get your exact location DOWN TO THE COORDINATES and I contacted domestic violence support groups and researched flight pricing options and contacted foreign authorities and NGO's and random civilian businesses around your area to get you transportation to an airport and away from that house but. BUT.
            
            I can't actually do anything. I could literally press one button and send the already drafted email to the embassy and arrange your whole escape and return. But. I can't do any of it without your explicit consent. Because they won't do anything until you give the green light. But you're scared for your family, a family who sold you for their own pride. As a power play. What the fuck. And I don't blame you because of course you wouldn't want to turn in your only, albeit shitty, lifelong support system. You were sheltered your entire life, throughout the entire 12 years I've know you, and groomed to be some old guys housewife. And it's so fucked up. And I can't do anything. And I could I would in an instant
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SeziaD

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            I guess I can just say it here cuz who's reading random posts on Wattpad???? No one in my life lmao. But yeah.
            
            Crazy when your best friend is trafficked to another country by her parents and married off to her 30 year old cousin and you CANT FUCKING DO ANYTHING because she has fucking Stockholm syndrome and won't let me call the embassy who can HELP HER GET BACK HOME???? Because it would get her parents in trouble?????? But like girl they fucking sold you. They sold you why do you care. Why do you give a singular shit. We want you home and safe but I can't do anything to help you because I know that even if I call the embassy and give them your location, when they show up you'll panic and say that yes you did consent to the marriage and then they'll leave and you'll be in even more danger because now your family will know that you're in contact with people who want to get you out. So they might take away your phone or hurt you more than you e already been beat up. And I can't beat up your fuckass "husband" for beating you or trying to assault you because you're across the fucking globe.
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SeziaD

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I'm forcing myself to post any writing practice I do for my wips and ocs,  so if any of y'all know how to write, please give me tips . I yearn to be able to write well enough to bring my stories and characters to life. Also if you're just bored and want to comment random shit go ahead and do that too lol

SeziaD

Started a WIP sort of. Basically just me consolidating  my many brain farts about my two chaotic, brilliantly stupid fictional children. Read if you like stupidly smart kids doing stupid things and bonding over it. Updates will come whenever I am up at 3am and caffeinated enough for my brain to poop out something coherent so bear with me. anyone who actually reads and comments/critiques will have my entire heart and soul.

SeziaD

I'm getting on a plane in like 30 hours and I'm pretty sure I'll be mourning Regulus by then - that'll make for a fun 14 hours rereading every Reg screenshot I've taken while bawling my eyes out :D

CuteK86

@SeziaD Let's just hope the next update will focus on another character, and we will be able to ignore the inevitable.
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