Shadow's Up To Something!

I figured out another source of my severe anxiety!
          See- I really wanted to go to my senior homecoming. I finally had an outfit I liked, friends I felt safe with, and the confidence to go. My mom asked me when I wanted to get there, and I said that I actually wanted to be there before it opened. She started ranting to me about how embarrassing it would’ve been if she did that back in high school. She got in my head so I stayed back for a fancy dinner with her. I missed it. I missed my last chance to actually socialize in a casual setting with people my age. I missed so many inside jokes and experiences. I missed hanging out with my friends. This is why nobody wants be around me- because I never get there. Then my mom continues to worry about how bad my social life is while continuing to fuss over what was embarrassing when she was my age.
          I feel like an embarrassment- like a problem, like a burden, like an annoyance. I have such a low self esteem and she just DIGS at it every time I try to tell her what I’m comfortable sharing. I can’t tell anyone anything anymore without it being completely anonymous. I feel like I’m suffocating and being compacted into a small box.

Imagine finding a lump in your titty on your 18th birthday, and told before you could tell your mom about it that we’ll have to cancel our health insurance to save money so you don’t say anything because you don’t want to be a burden ✨

So I made an I’d hit that muffin…
          If anyone’s interested…
          Kinda like a hear me out cake…

I’m gonna do it
          I’m gonna ask the senior I like out on a date before they graduate. Soon.
          Soon.
          Very soon.
          AND I GOT ME A HYPE MAN!

"Oh how do you know you're bisexual? You never dated a woman!"
          *Has bi panic in dream*

I feel like I turn into this teeny tiny thing whenever I talk to someone I DESPERATELY want to be best buds with, but fear they're too cool to be friends with me. Anyone else?

Okay guys- I NEED an answer on this!
          
          Would you watch an animatic/animated video called “I got my mom to play Subnautica for the first time drunk”?

My braces were tightened yesterday, and now I’m in such horrible pain.
          Bad enough that I want to cry, but not enough to get the tears flowing.
          Like a period cramp in my mouth! TToTT 

Even if they're joking, I don't feel safe around the people who joke about supporting this.

I am scared, I feel unsafe at school.