Shannon

8 months and still not able to handle death scenes no matter how distant.

Is it selfish to hold on when they're begging to die? 

It's been four months today and it still doesn't feel real. I walk into your house, into the sitting room-your favourite room- and still expect you to be there. But you're not and every time it feels like a physical blow. Until you left I never understood the saying I miss you so much it hurts, now I do and I hate it.  I hate that I have barely any memories of you, I hate that all I know about you is what I found out since you died, I hate that I didn't do more to save you, but I hate that I know you're happy since you got what you want. What I hate the most is that you only prolonged all of this because even though you knew it was the end you loved us enough to put yourself through all that pain.
          
          I hate that you're gone and I can't move on.

Sucidie kills more then one person.

I'm stuck between regretting not letting her go sooner and wondering if I should of held on tighter, done anything different. Wish my mind would shut up.

I am so fucking sick of death.