Feel like I’m slowly drowning.
My bsf won’t talk to me, I know I’ve done something and I know we’re toxic but he’s like all I’ve got. I can’t keep doing this cycle where he stops talking to me all together and then acts completely fine afterwards. I just can’t.
And I just got my expected grades back for GCSE (like finals) and I’m expected 6-5 with a singular 7. (Looking at what it would be in letters, I feel stupid for sitting here and crying as those will be B-C.)
I was aiming for 8/7’s (basically A’s) and I really need high grades to get into where I want to go to teach at university’s when I’m older. Cause that’s just what I want to do.
And to make things worse, Cadets has just finished for the year. (My club outside of school basically) So now I have nothing to do, and am stuck with my family. Which I know doesn’t sound too bad now, but when there are like 7 of you in a house hold with kids ranging from 15-0 it gets bad, quickly. Not to mention my parents are toxic and I don’t know what mood to expect everyday. Cadets was my one break from all of this and now I don’t even have that.
I feel like I’m drowning and I really don’t want to keep doing this.
Sorry for the rant, I just need to put it somewhere, my friends won’t/can’t talk to me, my parents go through my phone, my diary got taken away from me ages ago and this is the only app I know they won’t check.