Long time no see, right? Updates are slow but I have to warn ya'll of something before you say anything. Me writing now vs. me writing 2, 3, 4, years ago is going to look very different. I might not write as often and as well as I used to because over these years I've lost a lot of who I was and I have gotten some new traits and disorders that sort of hold me back.
I need you guys to keep an open mind about this because a lot of people take this the wrong way. I have HOCD and I developed this because of 2 consecutive huge heartbreaks. Essentially what it is is OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) but instead of hyper focusing on the amount of times I press a button or how many times I wash my hands. It focuses on my sexual orientation. So logically I know I'm straight, but anytime I catch myself wanting admiring another girls outfit or thinking she's pretty. My brain automatically instills a ton of doubt into my head. Basically all the what if questions and it is extremely overwhelming.
A lot of people take this as an opportunity to tell me "stop fighting it you're probably just a lesbian," which doesn't help me at all and trying to force me to do something I know isn't the answer just pushes me into a corner. This is a genuine disorder that can happen to people of all sexuality because it's just OCD with a different mask
That being said, I'm a writer. it's my job to go into different point of views and try to imitate the feelings of other characters. So when I go into another male's point of view, I found it to be extremely challenging. But this is just another obstacle I'm going to overcome to keep giving you guys the writing I've owed you for years now.
Comment some things you'd like me to update in the meantime!
sincerely,
Shireblossom72