Right, so I've put on quite a bit of my story now, I will continue putting stuff up anyway but I'd like some feedback? I know at parts it does possibly get kind of boring but there is some exciting twists coming. Also, sorry that not all of my story joins up, I sometimes get idea's i prefer several pages after I've written it so the metal spar for example wasn't actually a metal spar i changed it and i'll try to get round to editing the story sometime. Oh and finally, it's fixed :) So i hope you're happier now.