Shyra_021

          
          Helloooo cutieeeee 😭🫶🏻
          
          Me is backkkk 😭
          
          Its been a whole week since I posted anything here yes I knowww 😭🤌🏻
          
          I have read A LOT of books these days and honestly it was such a good start for me because somehow reading actually helped me distract my mind and slowly get it working again
          
          I also started working on my school project so maybe just maybe I can finally complete it on time and score some good marks 😭📚
          
          I have also started studying a little and trying to interact with people more
          
          Slowly getting back into things
          
          Nothing is magically perfect yet but I think I am doing a little better than before and thats enough for now
          
          Everything will get fine eventually
          
          At least thats what I am choosing to believe
          
          So yeahhh thats it for today 😭
          
          I am backkkkk
          
          Now let me disappear into another book again 🤡📖
          
          Byeeee cuties 🫶🏻
          
          — Shia

LMAOOOOO 
          
          Happy Friday 
          
          Today’s thinking is nothing special
          
          Just bored
          Scrolling
          Existing
          
          Today I went to the doctor and got one hell of a lecture 
          
          Apparently my health has gone completely khatm at this point
          
          The doctor literally told me I need to start taking care of myself because this is not something I can keep ignoring
          
          Then came the whole mental health lecture
          
          Interact with people
          
          Talk to people
          
          Dont isolate yourself
          
          Respond when someone talks to you
          
          Go outside
          
          Keep your mind busy
          
          Read books
          
          Try to stay happy
          
          Think positively
          
          Stop sitting alone with your thoughts
          
          And honestly
          
          Yaha yaha yaha 
          
          I got so many lectures today that I just kept nodding my head like yeah doctor I understand I will do it
          
          Will I actually do all of it
          
          Who knows 
          
          Talking to people is so fucked up sometimes because I genuinely dont have the energy for humans
          
          But apparently I have to interact
          
          Give responses
          
          Laugh a little
          
          Talk a little
          
          Try to let people in
          
          Because staying locked inside my own head all the time is clearly not helping me either
          
          The doctor suggested reading books too
          
          Something to distract myself
          
          Something to make my mind work
          
          Something that can pull me away from my own thoughts for a while
          
          So yeah
          
          I think I am going back to my dark fictional novels
          
          The ones I love the most
          
          Maybe disappearing into someone elses world for a while will be easier than sitting inside my own
          
          I probably dont wanna say goodbye
          
          But I might be back after a month
          
          Maybe
          
          Maybe not
          
          Who knows 
          
          Going somewhere so I can find a little peace
          
          And maybe after everything
          
          After the lectures
          
          After the boredom
          
          After my mind finally stops fighting with itself
          
          I will be okay
          
          Maybe
          
          Yeah
          
          I will be okay...
          
          Yours
          Shia

          I loved someone so badly that it hurts knowing they never loved me the way I loved them
          
          I cared in ways they will probably never understand
          
          I noticed everything
          
          Their smallest changes
          Their different tone
          Their silence
          The things they never said
          
          I noticed things about them that they never noticed about me
          
          And the funny part is
          
          I hurt them and they still made me feel good
          
          But now I talk rudely and suddenly I am batamiz
          
          Once upon a time I was the most disciplined girl in my house
          
          So what happened
          
          Everyone asks
          
          But nobody really wants to know
          
          People love to blame
          
          And I love watching them regret the things they thought I would forgive
          
          They gave me hate
          
          So I gave them distance
          
          They gave me disrespect
          
          So I stopped giving them access to me
          
          They humiliated me
          
          So I learned how disgusting silence can feel when the person you expect a reaction from simply stops reacting
          
          Hate
          Love
          Hurt
          Disrespect
          Humiliation
          Rudeness
          Anger
          Disgust
          Insults
          
          They did all of it
          
          And me
          
          I did nothing
          
          Silence
          
          Because silence became my solution to everything
          
          But my silence is not peace
          
          My silence is everything burning inside me while I stand there pretending nothing happened
          
          It is the anger I never explained
          
          The hurt I never showed
          
          The love I was forced to bury
          
          The version of me nobody will ever get to meet
          
          Because if I ever start speaking
          
          If I ever tell everything I have kept inside
          
          People will finally understand why I became this way
          
          So who am I
          
          Nobody knows
          
          Not even the people who think they do
          
          Maybe one day I will become a story
          
          A book
          
          Something that finally explains the girl nobody cared enough to understand
          
          And maybe then
          
          They will remember
          
          Not because I begged them to
          
          But because some people only understand your worth after they lose every version of you
          
          — Shia

I am so tired of being bored with everything
          
          I cant study
          I cant sleep
          I cant focus
          I cant even understand what exactly is wrong with me
          
          Maybe reading books will help me escape for a while because reality has become too heavy to sit with
          
          Everywhere I go I somehow come back carrying something painful with me
          
          Kya hi bolu
          
          Jahan jaati hoon wahan se kuch na kuch sadma lekar hi laut aati hoon
          
          And now it feels like there is nothing left inside me to lose
          
          Exams are standing right in front of me waiting for me and here I am
          
          Not studying
          
          Not moving
          
          Just sitting here trying to distract myself from things I cannot even name
          
          My head hurts so badly
          
          I want to sleep but sleep never comes when your mind has turned into a room full of thoughts that refuse to leave
          
          My health is getting worse and I know it
          
          My parents scold me because they want me to take care of myself
          
          They are trying in every possible way to keep me distracted to make me feel better
          
          And somehow that hurts too
          
          Because they are trying
          
          They are here
          
          But I still feel so unbearably alone
          
          So here I am sitting in my room with a hundred things inside my head and not a single person who can hear the noise
          
          No one to explain why I have suddenly become so quiet
          
          No one to write my situation in a Wattpad conversation box and tell me that somewhere after all this suffering everything will finally be okay 
          
          Maybe I am just tired
          
          Maybe I am just overwhelmed
          
          Maybe I will be okay
          
          I dont know when
          
          But I have to believe that I will
          
          — Shia

I dont read stories
          I let them read me
          Every character leaves a little piece of themselves behind 
          
          — Shia

After reading countless books I have realised something
          
          The minds behind certain stories are simply different Their imagination reaches places I sometimes wish I could escape from There are moments when a scene becomes so intense that I can actually feel its weight pressing against my mind
          
          Because I dont simply read characters I absorb them I become them even if only for a little while I let their thoughts echo in my head their emotions settle in my chest and their pain become something I can almost understand from within
          
          Perhaps thats why some stories affect me so deeply I dont read merely to know what happens I read to understand why it hurts I search between the words beneath the silence and inside every emotion the author leaves unspoken
          
          Most people read a story
          
          I disappear into one
          
          And maybe thats the little thought that crossed my mind today
          
          — Shia

The obsession I have for him is insane.
          Not the soft kind of love people talk about.
          This is something deeper. Something louder.
          I don’t just love him,
          I feel him in every thought, every silence.
          I’m not just crazy,
          I’m crazy in ways even I don’t understand.
          And if he ever tries to escape me,
          he won’t be able to just walk away.
          Because this isn’t something temporary.
          This is built on trust, on attachment, on everything I’ve given.
          My love doesn’t fade.
          It transforms.
          What starts as love
          can turn into something dangerously consuming.
          A white-room kind of madness.
          A quiet, beautiful chaos.
          And maybe that’s the scariest part…
          I don’t even want to stop.
          
          
          Shia✨

Hey,sweetie! thankyou for following❤....

I’m honestly so disappointed in the author. No updates, no progress… just silence. I’m tired of waiting while my favorite novels are left unfinished—it makes me want to cry.
          

You are formally invited to step inside The Architecture of Shadows. This is not a story of soft whispers and gentle touches. This is a story of Blood, Salt, and Stone.
          
          Are you ready to witness:
          
          A love that survived a five-year war?
          
          A hero who became a king—and then a monster?
          
          A girl who was the only light in his darkness... until she flickered out?
          
          Join Jungkook and Ember as they navigate the wreckage of a broken promise. It is a journey of revenge, obsession, and the thin line between a sanctuary and a cage.
          
          ✧･ﾟ: W A R N I N G :･ﾟ✧
          
          Once you enter these shadows, there is no turning back. The walls are high, the secrets are deep, and the king is cold.
          
          Will you help rebuild the ruins, or will you watch them burn?     
          
          Here is the link:-  https://www.wattpad.com/story/406208005-the-architecture-of-shadows-ash-jjk