When I was younger, I used to believe that being depressed was kinda cool. I thought that it was the only way to be popular, being the topic of everyone else's conversation. In other words, I craved for attention.
But right now, when I'm actually depressed, all I want is to go back to the 'old me'. I never thought depression was as bad as it seems, but I was just so so wrong. I've always opposed suicide and self-harm but right now I understand what made others to do it. Everything's falling and I'm stuck and not able to do anything.
No one cares. No one helps. In other words, I don't LET others know because I don't want to be the center of attention. I don't want people to care about me, it just seems too stupid.
People say that I change and I know that too, I don't want to keep hearing it. Trust me, I would literally do anything to not be this way. BUT I CAN'T!! And that's killing me. I want to be better but I CAN'T. So yeah, all I can do is SMILE...