Getting married is like... a big task.
There's so much to it, and I'm now feeling conflicted about the choices that I'm making.
My own family judges my choices; even if they mean no harm. I feel accepted into a family that wants to be accepting and loving. It's actually really heartwarming that they're not trying to control or take control. Basically, the family I've always wanted.
We'll be the first of his parents' kids & grandparents' grandkids to get married. My whole life is changing. My last name? My lineage stops right there. My dad has no other children with his last name. That's scary, but that last name means a lot to me, but it is very, very dark. It's not something I'd wanna keep.
This is a big change. A scary change that will throw my head back, and it'll screw me up because change, for me, is like... huge. It's terrifying.
It doesn't matter, though. It'll be okay. I'll be okay. I can make it through. I'm a strong woman.