I guess I'll start at the beginning. Around nine months before June 24th, 1996, Donna and Eddie Cheatham loved each other very much and he put his thingy in her naughty place and didn't have the special hat on and his willy got sick on her. Just as medical science predicted, I was created. Born in Sydney, Australia and raised in a terrible little scab of a suburb called Liverpool. I grew up in the usual way. You know, getting older/bigger as time went on and all that.

Childhood life wasn't anything out of the ordinary. I was bullied and picked on since the day school started and was never expected to do anything with my life. The teachers said I wasn't productive, refused to apply myself. One pulled me out of class because I was manipulative and made the other kids misbehave. I think it's safe to say, I fucking detest that place and the soul sucking super-scum that fill it.