Skyxre

@Skyxre thanks for the criticism (sorry if that sounds sarcastic or anything) since you talked about mine I think I should talk about yours. This is just my insight on things and it isn't 'right'. 
            
            I think that there should be a explanation about how he discovers the cloning machine and a reason on how he knows its a cloning machine, there should also be some doubt on using it since most people I know in real life would be at least slightly skeptical. I'm guessing the man also has a wife so I think she would have something to say about it but I don't know much about writing as I invest most of my free time drawing.

@user81081936 It's fine, and cliché isn't always a bad thing. It would probably be best to lay that story out slower than your description. Include lots of details, and fillers are okay, too. Also, you could always put your story through a grammar check if the need arises. Giving each character their own unique flaws is important too, otherwise you'll be accused of including a Mary Sue. Don't forget to add variety. Give insight on each character, tell their story, get the readers to either love or hate them. Don't go too overboard with the sob story, though. Too much, and the character will still be considered a Mary Sue. Give them their own personal quirks, make the characters memorable, but don't make them over the top with their personalities. Shy doesn't always mean cowardly, and leaders aren't always 100% sure of the success rate of their actions. Don't make the killer too obvious of being the quiet one, mention the feelings of the criminal during their accusation and how the two childhood friends managed to convince her to rejoin. You know, stuff like that. 
            
            

@Skyxre Honestly I think it's a unique plot and if my friend recommended it to me, I would read it but here's my story thing:
            Two best friends are in a school but throughout their childhoods weird things happened and when they turn eleven, a necklace (one for each person) was following them. Eventually they both put it on and whisked off into a different dimension where there were six goddesses Wind, Fire, Earth, Water, Light and Darkness. They learn that there was a war between the light and dark sister and the light sister won, the dark goddess is still alive but weak ( light is also weak) All six goddesses venture out into the 'other' world and declare young children (0-1) theirs, the children at the age of 10-13 would come to the world their in and train their powers. Learning this, the first friend is excited while the second is just too shocked to act shocked. They meet other friends a shy girl, a leader-type girl and a criminal who was their age but didn't attend school. The leader-type gets murdered but nobody knows who did it but the two best friends think it's the criminal and kicks her out of the apparent 'friend circle thing'. At the near end, it was revealed that the shy girl wasn't actually shy but bitter and works for the dark goddess. The two best friends with help from the criminal captures her and the 'shy' girl reveals that her parents pressured her into serving the dark goddess and dies willingly. Throughout the story, the two best friends don't know which goddess declared them but the first friend is bad at doing fire magic, while the other is bad at water magic and the mortal parents are told about this 'cycle' about claiming children. Parents who protest will have their memories erased.
            
            I know this plot is super cliche and the grammar in this is bad but I wanted to type this out quickly, sorry for replying late and not talking more about your plot. O-O