Typical TnuC

Wow I'm actually back, and it's only cause I wanna write. Wowzer. Let's start over. Hopefully I can avoid the drama this time around. Hello, all :)

Sorry for being gone. I don't really wanna be back, but this is just the "I'm alive" update. Now bye. 

Hello. It's me, your typical sad cûnt. To start off; I'm not coming back for a while. Im not looking for attention, do not write me expecting a response or shit. I rrally tried to be strong for others, I wanted to be. I can't. I really, really can't. And if I can't fix myself, then I haven't any hope left. 
          I probably lost one of my bestest friends. And honestly, it feels like there's a hole in my stomach. I don't wanna eat, or be awake. I wanna sleep and cry, which is good ig. At least I still feel. But for the first time since I was 13, I feel like I'm trapped. I'm reliving it all, but this time no one is there to help but the one person who I also continuously hurt. Who tries but, I pick the other one who probably hates me now or just is through, over them.
          
          So, please. Don't leave our writings behind. Don't forget me, don't let me just become a "oh I remember you" when I say something.
          If I could make myself different, I would. But j don't know how to. And I thought if I talked to people who understood it would help
          I only lost them. 
          
          Goodbye for now, guys. Stay safe and be happy. Worry about yourself, and love yourself. Have a good life. 

I miss people who I happily call my friends, but I wonder if I'm really theirs.

Look at everyone falling and losing themselves. Mama was right, suicide rates are going up.
          World's getting uglier. Please stay safe everyone, I know death seems like an escape but if you just come back to it all; it is anything but. Good morning.

@PastelGrellSutcliff aah, thanks sweetheart. I was surprised to see someone actually wrote, and it meant a lot. You're so sweet ;u;
          Thank you so much, again, because I'm trying really hard to remember those things! I'll remember to keep trying to. Though no, things haven't gotten better (if anything worse) I'm okay. I hope you're also doing okay :)

Hey, message or call me back. Please? If you're not busy. 

Why am I listening to "I kissed a girl" and imagining Jules and fückin Cindy Jfc 

BOOOOOOO ANSWER ME AND CALL ME BOOOOO

I really wanna write some sweet, tender loving in a rp. But half the people I wanna write with don't write with me much, or end up making sweet tender loving into drama quickly and hurting my charas hearts. Hhhh :/