I am one of the most insolent, majestic, and confused guys you're ever going to come across, but don't worry! The more I annoy you the more it means I care.  

Will I actually ever write anything good? Hopefully. Will I ever finish it? Meh. You'll take what I give you and be grateful for it. I suppose you could ask me to write something (which is actually really helpful) and I'd try to complete it for you. Be warned though, I tend to make my own twists on things.