Smilinoleff

Hello , Loves ! I'll be taking a break from wattpad . I'm sure that I will be back sooner or later. I love you all so much & stay safe .

fjjzzled

I’m 19 now. I think you would have been 20/21 right now. Everytime I listen to Brockhamton, I can’t help but remember the night where I asked you what music should I listen too. You said a couple of bands but that stuck out the most. 
          
          I remember when I felt so guilty because you loved me and it was too late. You were gone already. You said you’d come back but you didn’t.
          
          It would have been at least 6 years since I met you. I remember that day where me and my girlfriend were having issues, you were there for me.

fjjzzled

I just miss you, okay? You were the first person who loved me for who I am and befriended me.
            
            I am so grateful for you. You thought me a lot of things. I wish you knew, that even if I didn’t feel the same… you are special to me.
            
            I guess I’ll be leaving messages here and there.
            You deserve it.
            
            I wish we could talk. There’s a lot of things that changed.
            
            I go by Riley now. I wonder if were still talking you’d still be my friend if I told you I am trans.
            
            I haven’t grown much. I drive now, finally. I hate it to be honest. I like indie/punk/rock music now, maybe some soft metal too.
            
            i still suck at doing stuff. my insomnia did get worse.
            
            I never thought i’d make it this long. A lot of people came and left.
            
            I know there are things that don’t last but. I just hope that someday, I find happiness and find things that last— even if I change drastically and I hope that people support and understand me instead of always being againts me and my actions. Is it bad to care for one’s desire?
            
            I wish I could ask you for advice in certain things because. I know you won’t judge me or yell at me, you’d listen to me and give me your input.
            
            I wish I had a friend like that. Because nowadays people are just so full for their self they forget what I do for them. They forget I was there telling them to be sober. 
            
            But what else can I do. I don’t feel like I have friends at all, I fell alone Jo.
            
            I miss you. I’m not expecting for a response or anything. I just wanna say these things.
            
            I know you’d listen. 
            
            - R
• Reply

fjjzzled

hey it’s me sweetheart. you won’t probably see this, but i hope you are okay. these past years has been very eventful, i went through a lot of changes, made a lot of friends and dated a lot of people. i still miss you. if you’re still here, please. know that i am sorry, i didn’t know you liked me before. im sorry, i hurt you. that’s all.

fjjzzled

you were the only true friend i ever had. i wish you knew that you’ll always be my friend.
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