SoftRaindrops_16

I hate coming back here when I only feel like venting but, I consider this a safe spot. Today was a bad day for me at work TBH. Personal situation I got going on but I know a lot of people don't mean no harm to me or even with their actions. I can seem mad, sad, or shut off but I promise you I'm not. In fact those be the moments in which I wished people talked to me more. A simple "how things going" is fine. Problem is, I can't even handle that much. It feels like their touching a weak spot of mine. I absolutely HATE crying in front of others. I can't even cry in front of myself. 
          
          It's not like me at all. However, no one said that I always have to be cheerful either. I may be a great presence to be around until the end of the day or when I'm alone/chilling. I will not talk for nothing & I would seem like a stranger. Although, I am not sad or mad, lol. I just need my space. 

I am NOT okay after getting news that Gunil is not apart of Xdinary Heroes anymore. Because I don't like repeating myself, this is what I said on YouTube when I found out. 
          
          
          
          This freakin broke me. I'm dead serious guys.  Not because what happened happened, but because a year back I had a chance to go see them in concert. I was unemployed waiting for a job for the longest, willing to pay a plane ticket to my home state & then drive for 3hr and a half just to see them. I had a very BAD feeling already. To know that my gut was right about that day being the only possible chance I would've been able to ever see them, I can't express what I'm feeling right now. I freakin knew it. I freakin freakin knew it. I know its never a possible chance but please, please man I hope they bring him back.   This can't be real. He had every right to feel what he was feeling & it pains me that celebrities can't trust/date anyone without fear of them going off to expose them. What stays between y'all stays between y'all. I understand if a celeb had an abusive attitude that needed to be made public. Although, things like this is understandable whe  your being stalked & don't feel safe. For the thousand time, celebs are humans too they will say something of the most beautiful things & some of the most messes up things. Especially in a state of stress. Am I wrong or right??? Anyone?? 
          
          I'm just in absolute disbelief.

Short info on the Cortis concert:
          
          1-We almost didn't get the tickets???? 
          
          Like they were sent to us the day of & we were getting scared cause we couldn't find the barcode for it. After a nap & man I had a headache, we seen it in our email. 
          
          2- We got there close to around concert time. 
          
          The line was already quiet long around 5-6 & they were letting people in by 7. I literally got dressed in a valet parking garage with my mom that was right across the venue. Yes, we paid that $50 for parking, lol. 
          
          3- The inside was so beautiful!! 
          
          It was simple, but beautiful. It had the Cortis Put Your Phone Down 26' on the screen while the whole room was like red because of the lights. There was smoke too. Can't forget the smoke adding to the venue's affect. 
          
          4- Crowd was SO LOUD when it started that it sounded like a sound barrier being broken. 
          
          I have never ever ever in my life been around a crowd scream that loud that make your ears sound like they going in & out. The sound was unreal that I even had to plug my ears a couple of times to let them readjust. I mean they really showed out & keep the energy the whole show. 
          
          5- Finally left to rest some where & eat. 
          
          Met a fellow coer in the process at a food place, lol. I immediately seen your shirt & nails & said "did you go?!? " her father was with her & it was his first going to a kpop concert as well just like my mom. Lol, my mom before the ticket booking said they better be doing "backflips & stuff cause I'mma be upset if it isn't worth it. " Well, it was totally worth it in the end. She enjoy every second. Her favorite was Martin~~~~As usual. Everyone is just drawn to him. 
          

So I just came back from the Cortis concert like  3-4 hours ago & I am so tired. I can't go to sleep just yet though, for certain reasons. Which is why I want to go home. I freakin love my mom but I hate being on her schedule. She wants to spend a day doing few things like shopping, but wants then stop by family members houses on our way going home. Going to out family house is already one trip alone. It takes a while & my mom is going to say that she's not on a time limit. Mannnn, I just want to go home. When an introvert/Non-social butterfly person wants to go home, THEY WANT TO GO HOME!!!! 

Ok, so I didn't mention this but I made a mistake again where I accidentally deleted all my files/data on my computer by just trying to sign off. I did it again some weeks back & realized I lost all my Wattpad stuff that I use for my stories. However, I told myself to open canva cause I never delete anything no matter how long it's been, & I found my character documents I was going to use for my "To Change The World" XH book. I'm so happy. ˃͈◡˂͈

I can't wait to make enough money so that I can cosplay more. I'm seeing so many characters I've always wanted to do & it's hurting me that I can't do them. Let's hope I can actually make to the next anime convention coming up. It'sy first time going to one in my home state. It better not suck Ahh. 

I may or may not drop the second part to my book today. I'm waiting on what my mom is going to do because she has to watch Avatar the last Airbender. (Live action) after us finishing One Piece. 
          
          I'm editing as I go. 

I experienced ALOT of pain yesterday night after feeling so well in the daytime. I forget here & there that it can happen so quick because the pain I experience comes every once in a while. It got so bad that it hurt to walk, bend, sit, & get up. This time around I was even feeling extremely light headed & weak. So bad that I kept wanting to throw up. Thank God I'm feeling better though.
          
          Back to reviewing my story I guess.^(=)^

hey seriously youre so sweet thank u sm for hyping me up <33

Why does Wattpad keep coming up with news ways for people to see your privacy as far as you navigating on the app & what your commenting on, but had to get rid of our will to chat & direct message?
          
          I understand the huge impact it had on both parties. It's just so tragic it had to happen. Now we have to search by a book or an announcement that an author made in order for us to find someone. That's unless you know them all by name & have them included in your bio.
          
          Hi well, I'm back....Again.