SolidKeeper

@McKraven 
            PM's are reserved only to main site for weird reason, the community site don't have them at all.
            I know about beta-readers, did my share of digging around when I was writing fanfiction, but never got one due to low exposure and trust issues. It's easier to talk about finding them rather than actually finding them. So, yeah, those beta's, critique partners and editors are nice people to have around, but, you know, not everyone can have them.
            Thank you for contacting me, Kraven. You have valid points and advices, but I just have no idea how to employ them. To have beta or someone from the list you need to interest people, and to interest people you need a good story and a lot of exposure. Don't know about how good my story is, but I know that there isn't much exposure to be sure.

I was going to ask if English wasn't your first language. I'm currently learning Spanish, I couldn't imagine trying to write a novel in a language I'm not fluent in. It's got to be a challenge!
            
            No, I didn't follow you out of pity. I like fantasy, I also like original works, and I think your writing has a lot of potential, especially if we can get past the language barrier.
            
            Anyways, my suggestions were more practical in nature. For example, have you heard of beta readers? I think you need some. They are just people who read your work and help you by giving feedback on the story. 
            
            My beta readers were individuals I would contact via email and sent my story to in MS word format.
            
            And Critique Partners. They are individuals who typically are writers as well. With a critique partner, you swap stories and help each other with things like spelling and punctuation etc. to help your book look more polished and reader friendly.
            
            I strongly believe if you are trying to appeal to an English speaking audience, having a good story is only one aspect of finding readers. It also has to be easy to read, and needs to flow properly so that the images you're making with your words make sense.
            
            If you could use beta readers and critique partners, they would help iron out the typos, lack of quotations, and places where the story loses focus - but for free! (You have to pay an editor).
            
            Anywhoo. Those are my suggestions.
            
            Do you know how to private message someone on here? I do not, and I think we are writing on your wall where everyone can see what we've written. I'd like to share my email address with you so you could send me a page or two of your book in MS word format. I will show you the kind of help a beta reader or critique partner provides, if you are interested.

@McKraven 
            Hey, good time of the day to you.
            I am actually a bit moved - in positive way - about your message. But, that's can sound a bit hard and ungrateful, I want some progress and achievements based on my - possible - talent and skills, not because of pity. So, if you think that I deserved your follow and reading list based on those factors, I am a bit happier today.
            If you want critique - go on, I aint stopping you, though there are some things I need to mention:
            - I am not native English speaking person. I am Russian. So there will be typos and stuff, which can be corrected by editor. So focus more on the story itself - it can't be corrected by editor.
            - I am using Cyrillic structure, or to put it simple, Russian literature style. The quotations from typical English literature are something that do not provide me with clear distinction of direct and indirect speeches, so here we are. Many people suggested me to go for quotations, but I already associate it with bad literature, and it's not hard to understand how it works.
            - Oh, and there is a place in one of the chapters that is empty, describing banner. Skip that.
            
            So, here we are. But despite what I put above, feel free to provide whatever criticism you have on your hands. And thank you for the message again.