Sweetpassionnnn
Hello dear author. I have a kind request which you may decline at your wish. I have just published a book called FOURTEEN? It's only one chapter long. Could you please please check it out. I'm looking for honest feedbacks from good authors on here. It's only one chapter. I'll read a whole book of yours in return. Also, can we be friends?
Sweetpassionnnn
@Sweetpassionnnn thank you so much for the feedback darling. Everything has been noted. Now I have to figure out how to slip Everything into place
SolsticeSoul_803
@Sweetpassionnnn As for the characters, Sae feels grounded and relatable. We can see his fear, self loathing and eventually his desperate courage. The detail about growing his hair shows his desire to hode without being openly shy. His brother on the other hand, is still a bit of a mystery to me. Him stating that he knew about Sae's feelings makes him instantly more interesting. It kinda suggest that perhaps he is just as burdened by this relationship as Sae is (I can be wrong though). To conclude, this is a high potential opening as I said before. It balances romance and fantasy tropes well. My advice is to do your best in maintaining this level of emotional intimacy throughout the plot.
SolsticeSoul_803
@Sweetpassionnnn The move from confession to summoning is very fast. While this works as a cliffhanger, make sure that in the next chapter you allow the characters to react to the emotional fallout. Don't let it swallow the emotional plot. And I'd like a clarification on their relationship. It might be worth clarifying early on if they are biological siblings, step brothers or found family brothers as it might be a sensitive topic for most of the readers if they're biologically related. Small tip: when typing on Wattpad, keep an eye on spacing in the dialogue. I love that this sort of remind me of hunger games (I'm a huge fan btw), but I hope you've brought your own unique ideas to the world building. It is very important to be unique when you're writing fantasy.
