Heyyy Human Babes x 
I'm an intergalactic lifeform capable of transforming into any type of species. I had planned to invade the earth but it has been put on hold because of its amazing contents such as your planet's 'weird' people, Animé, k-pop, books, music, some cultures & the sex gods that walk among you....
You may adress me as Parker Sardothien and we may converse like the beings of the earth But the day these magical things dissapear your planet will be improved by being under my command... 
Your intergalactic superior,
Parker Sardothien