I look happy don't I???


Well, Guess what? Im not.


My name is Ka'nesha, not one bone In my body is happy.


Why??


Because when people treat you like crap, you fell discouraged and attempt suicide.


10/13/07 <3

The love of my life killed himself because of his religon. People made fun of him because he was jewish.

People called him "Big Nose" or "Dirty motherfucker" 

But you know what? I stood up for him everytime. He was care free and kept on walking while holding my hand.

But that was a facade. 

He would break down everyday when he came to my house.

October 13, 2007

It was 9 in the morning as I was asleep. My friend Candi called me saying that I needed to get up and look on the news. She was crying as I was so confused. I got out of bed as I walked out to the living room to see my papa crying also. I looked on the screen as my heart literally froze. their was a picture of him on the news when he was 14. There was also another picture of his eyes rolled in the back of his head as There was pill bottles and alcohol on the floor smashed. as you all know your not suppose to take pills with alcohol. I felt like the whole world turned on me as I fell to my knees shaking.


September 5, 2007
There was his grave as I looked down on it leaving flowers. I thought to myself, if i die i could be with him right? I was so lonley....I needed to feel safe and inharmed again. After He died people at my school had a look of guilt on their faces. And see? what goes around, comes around. 



September 10, 2007

I was sitting on the ring on the tub as I filled the tub with coldwater. I tied a rope to the pub as the other end was around my neck. This was it, i was really going to do it. i sat in the tub as i laid down in the water tightening the rope. My vision was blurry as I stopped breathing. My sister came in view as she screamed and tried to pull me u
       She noticed the rop as she drained the water. But it was too late. I blackened out.

  Part 2 is down.