TW: discussion of SA/SA theming
I’m here to clear up the questions with “I Can’t See Yellow”.
I’ve grown a lot now, and I realize “I Cant See Yellow” was an unhealthy way for me to cope with my own SA experience when I was younger. It’s not healthy for me to bring it back to the web, it’s a reminder of a very dark time for me. I had a lot of younger people (like myself at the time) reading it, meaning I had a possible large impact on a very impressionable audience. Even in fiction, I never want to give people the impression that anything about SA is pleasant. SA is the truest form of hell and it took me years to realize that. I’m sorry to anyone who was affected by the book, it is a disgrace to survivors of SA, including myself. This Wattpad account is defunct now and I honestly just checked this now out of sheer curiosity, but I would appreciate everyone respecting my wishes to keep it private.
The book contained themes of SA presented in dubious light, and it adds only harm to the world in its perpetual existence. Any fellow writers, I beg of you to analyze your own themes and ensure you aren’t brining unwarranted and irreversible harm into people’s lives. Fiction never exists in a vacuum. Handle a topic like SA incorrectly, you will distort your own perceptions and possibly others by proxy. Acknowledging fiction and isolating it in our psyche is our only protection against disturbing themes, and that barrier falls on the writer.
Thank you for your support, I appreciate so many of you were touched by my story. Please acknowledge those themes of SA present in the novel were anything but fiction for me in the time of writing of it. I appreciate you taking time to read this post, and I wish you the best.
To any survivors of SA, there will come a day where you will be able to be alive again as you were again. It is never your fault. You have never been stripped of what made you human, you were always wholly worth everything no matter what happened.