Rainer

bro are you alive 

I own a cloak (from a costume my mum made) and kinda wanna wear it to school cause it’s warm and cause this boy thinks umm possessed cause of my tics so I can just go ‘no  I’m a witch, bitch’. This is my life.

I am looking at my profile about me and am realizing how much has changed since I wrote e it. I’m out of the closet, I’m in high school, I have new friends, I wouldn’t call myself a fan of half the fandoms listed, just a bit obsessed for a burst. Hell the name and pronouns have changed. I mean I knew I wasn’t properly a girl since I was five years old but what even am I now? A fan human? A fan girl ish? Who was I when I wrote that? A straight girl who was way to excited about finally being aloud any sort of online anything. I wonder if she would even recognize a description of me now.

My school requires students to get a tech credit to pass. Like guys every class requires a computer to function, the fact I got this far is a tech credit. No I will not take computer programming 1, I argue with school pcs to please get off power save mode

Dear PE teacher,
          
          Why is it that you stopped the boys from yelling racial slurs, yet you didn't say a word when they called out faggot. Do the minimum two LGBT+ kids in your class not count? 
          
          Sincerely,
          The self esteemless bisexual trying to play kickball

My friends are trying to get me to talk to my crush. He is in my science class and we have a bunch of mutual friends and are in the same club. We're in high school, even if he likes me it would last a day or two and make the next year akward. No.

So I'm really scrawny and I don't really eat lunch, by choice, at school. People get so concerned. It's like miss if I wasn't 30 pounds underweight but went the other end me not eating would be "healthy" and "responsible" but cause I'm to tall for my weight I'm anerexic WTF.

The joys of constantly suppressing tics and twitches as much as possible during school only to explode at home. For reference I "cough", shake my hand like I'm trying to dry it, tense up randomly, and do this thing where I cluck my tounge, jerk my head to the left, shrug my left shoulder, and tense up my left arm at the same time. I only shake my hand at school as long as possible.

A little thing I just realized-
          
          When I was in the second grade I was placed in a special education reading class. I was beyond bored, and I frequently ignored the instructions because what I was being asked to do was so incredibly boring that I gave up. I lied on a memoir for class cause I had nothing very interesting to write about and my teacher let me. 
          
          I am now in my freshman year or high school with an A in my GT English class. I read books constantly. I am turning in a "journal" entry tomorrow about a time I was in the minority and it is completely true. I have written many many decent memoirs for my teachers. 
          
          My teachers said that I would never be a good writer, and that I needed extra help. I did need a little help, a little kindness but oh how wrong they were!

That moment when you are hella gay and not exactly gendery  person and your mum, dad, ect are cool with that  but your extended fam isn't exactly excepting, so you spend all of thanksgiving being mis gendered like HELP.