Mentally Insane

@Sparklybull101 No problem boo, I know how it is going through dark times. Just stay safe and take a break, treat yourself also❤️❤️❤️

@DontWorryBoutHoney thank you for understanding (◍•ᴗ•◍)❤

@Sparklybull101 It’s alright boo, just take all the time you need. Love you❤️❤️

@EvelyneJura Oh. Das war ungefähr mein Leben. Entschuldigung, es war kein Update des Buches.

4)I'm on my closet right now as I type this. I want to get away from everyone. I'll sleep here. I thinks I'll be much more comfortable.
            
            I wished my closet led to some magical place or kingdom. Like Narnia or something. 
            
            I feel really icky again.
            
            I'm not comfortable in my own skin. I want to get out of it. I felt this once before. 
            
            At school in the cafeteria during lunch some random boy pressed themselves up against me from behind. I didn't do anything though. I didn't turn around. I didn't sock him in the face. I just froze.
            
            I couldn't process it when it happened. I thought school was my safe haven. That it was a place to get away from home. A place where I'm not alone. 
            
            Call me stupid. But I just froze up. 
            
            My mind when it happened was to immediately say Don't turn around. You don't want to make a big scene out of nothing. What if this was an accident. You'll yell at someone for doing nothing. 
            
            And so I didn't do anything.
            
            The rest of the day I felt disgusted with myself. It was just a gross icky feeling that didn't go away until I got home and took a shower and scrubbed at my skin until it hurt and turned red.
            
            I feel that ickiness again.
            
            I've forgotten all about that situation. But I remember it now. I didn't want to remember. I've forgotten it for a reason.
            
            If you read this far congratulations. Here's my confession. But don't worry I'm not going to do anything bad to myself.
            
            Because I finally feel comfortable.

3)I want to start hearing voices so I'm not alone. So I have someone to speak to. I think it would be better to have company in my mind than to just stay alone. I want voices. Can I have them. Please I don't want to be alone. I want someone with me. To talk to me. Please. 
            
            In my mind. It's dark. There's nothing there. Just an abyss of agony. 
            
            I used to cut myself. It made me feel better. At least that's what I felt when I did it. The physical pain felt better than the emotional pain. I preferred it. I don't have knives anymore so I can't do it.
            
            People say it gets better. It doesn't.
             not really. It stays with you. 

2)I'm told that I'm too loud or too whiny. Should I stop talking. I'll try to be quieter. I I'll make sure no one has to hear my voice.
            
            I'm told I'm not normal. Why . I know normality isn't something real. Because what's normal to a cheetah is death to a gazelle. But it hurts. It stings.
            
            Sometimes words hurt less or don't hurt at all. Is it normal to not feel anything. Sometimes tears pour down my face like an endless cascade of sadness that doesn't want to stop flowing. But when that happens I don't feel anything. Is that normal.

@Sparklybull101 I mean I don't live in Florida. But I still wish to help if you want to talk to an oklahoma county kid 

@losxr-lovxr Hello, fellow Floridian :)

@Sparklybull101 ah, hello fellow southwest floridian

@EMERALDDARKNESS2  I knowwwww༼;´༎ຶ ۝ ༎ຶ༽

@Sparklybull101 a lot of help

@Sparklybull101 you need help

@Sparklybull101 i'm since 12 december

@Sparklybull101 good luck