SpillinMyOwnTea

I forgot to announce my last message to my followers.. Which was the most important part. So go check it out please! But the gist is i had to change accounts. My new account is @LenaBena3 and im gonna follow everyone back and hope for reading suggestions. So yeah. This account isn't going to be active anymore. 

Hi so... Yeah i lost all my information to this account. But i randomly remembered it. I have already changed back to my first account and it's a lot calmer over there, since i actually know whats happening. I had kinda went a little over bored with this account and everything got hectic and now it overwhelms me. So ima stay on my other account and if i was talking to anyone on this account please feel free to go follow my new (or technically old cause i had it first then got locked out of it so i made this one) account and we can talk there instead  the account is @LenaBena3 and im kinda lonely over there so I'd enjoy some company. Plus i don't know what to read over there so book recommendations are very welcome. Plus i can see what y'all are reading and take inspiration off of that too.

... I think im legit about to start a book.. Thats legit gonna me my life right now. But probably written differently than me just sayinf it's my life. I just don't knoe if ima put it on this account or my other one...

Hey Weeboo. How ya doing. I haven't checked on you in a while and I miss uuuuu.

I had even more nightmares last night too.... Oof i really hate nightmares.

Aye I’m a weeboo too

This dude at school who i had a tiny (i think) crush on was cuddling with this girl, and instead of getting jealous like usualy i just got sad since i was already feeling pretty down. Then when i was crying he didn't even ask if i was okay like he usually did. Im.... Uuf.

What do u be reading Weeboo

So like... I may or may not have accidentally, kinda, maybe druggedmyfriendatlunchtoday.....

I swear im so sick and tired of crying. It seems all I've been doing for the past 2 day, heck for the past 2 years, is crying. That all my life is. I'm either hiding my feelings or crying. I mean sure there are moments where I'm happy for a small amount of time and it's great and i really appreciate those moments, but the other parts are spent overthinking ever little thing, and being anxious, and being sad, and smiling to hide my feelings but feeling worse because of that cause im not happy and why do i have to hide it and why am i always this way and what the hell is wrong with me? 
          
          And i mean i know, of corse I know, how could i not? But what the hell am i supose to do about it? Im so fucking tired of it and i just want it to stop but it wont and i can't make it. I can't tell my mom cause she makes everything worse on her bad days. And its seems like recently those are all she has instead of good or neutral days. 
          
          I just want someone to care enough to stop what they're doing to come give me a hug and comfort me just because im sad and having a bad day, but i know that's too much too ask, especially cause I'm me. I just want to feel loved without feeling suffocated but that seems impossible. The people I know who will be there for me and hug me and do what they can and would drop everything if possible without me asking them too overwhelm me and unintentionally make things worse. But the people who don't only seem to care when it's not inconvenient for them too. And i know thats not true, but thats how i feel and i can't stop that feeling. 
          
          I'm starting to think that i should have made this a book entry instead but too late and i need to go blow my nose anyway so i guess I'll stop here.