uɐʇɐs

say what you want, but say it like you mean it, with your fists for once, a long Cold War

i have so much regret looking back i wish i could reinvent time to reinvent myself and make a million different choices how do i go back from stopping it and stopping myself and hoping i turn into someone else

when we were out for dinner, my parents kept saying things about my hair and my weight and my skin, i didn’t say anything. i have just cut my bangs and they said it doesn’t suit me and i look round and heavier. 
          
          my sister looks me in the eye and asks, “you’re going to say nothing? you’re going to let them walk all over you and say all of this and say nothing?” 
          
          what use is it to? ive spent too many moments arguing to let me have some autonomy over myself, im not going to repeatedly do that, id rather just do i think, but i dont and in the few cases i do, i get punished

how do i get to that good life?

i feel like i am only pretty in pictures, it’s the ugly truth of my textured skin and hard smile lines and deep set under eye bags that repulse me and just repulse others. it’s so much easier to enamor others when you show so little of yourself. why can’t i grow out of this shell

i can’t even remember who i was talking to last year, the months of many a face have blurred by, i don’t remember you, you were not worth keeping a stake. maybe these instant flames that glow so bright and die ever so quickly are to keep me constantly moving and never linger for too long, because if i let you stay, that’s letting you leave first. i have had no intention on letting any of you stay, you are all so temporary in the great vastness of my cruelty.

i wanted to behave but i know i’ll do it again i know i’ll do it again i wanna take up all your time

we can meet again somewhere, somewhere far away from here

there’s this quote that’s resonated within my bones, i want you to know it.
          
          the essential reason for my loneliness is that i don’t even know where i belong. i was supposed to be a part of a story, but i fell from there like a leaf in autumn.

an inch of movement is better than a mile of intentions