this message may be offensive
Personal rant type thing I guess:
Okay, so recently I've had an experience that can only be explained as a hyperfixation. I couldn't really focus on anything else and only really felt at peace when somehow doing something that included the thing. I literally wrote an entire fucking oneshot in 3 hours, when I haven't written anything in months. The problem here is that I don't feel like I can describe it as a hyperfixation, because I'm probably not neurodivergent.
Actually I've felt like I might be neurodivergent for over 2 years now, but the thought just kinda fades after a while, until something happens that makes me wonder again. In the past 9 months I've noticed a couple of things, focusing is difficult (I will ask them a question and just not hear the answer, because I immeadiately zoned out, overall I tend to zone out quite a bit. I can also be pretty forgetful and shit at organization, but thats probably because of the lockdown. Recently I've been a lot more fidgety and stuff, flapping my hands whenever I'm happy or using a fidget spinner when nervous or needing to focus. A couple of the online tests that I took said that I might have add, but I'm scared I'm overexetturating (how do you spell this word-) the answers I some way.
It's just really frustrating, because I've always done well in school and mostly because of that, have always been told that I'm neurotypical. At this point I really don't fucking know and it's passing me off.
If you've read this entire thing, you're amazing <3 (if you haven't you're amazing too, I just needed to get this off my chest)