Katie

Merry Christmas!! Have a good day guys 

I miss talking to people on here I swear it's dead but I don't read or write anymore so what do I expect 

Not me having to delete a cute photo bc I noticed I can see my cousins bfs butt crack and ill never not notice now 

All my safe people are being unsafe and all my coping mechanism have been taken 

I fucking hate myself like I'm sat at home while all my friends are hanging out and my mum says I do it to myself but what's the point in me going to a sleepover if I'm just going to be stressed but also I stayed home and just had loads of panic attacks and meltdowns and whatever the fuck else because literally everything is wrong with me but I have nobody who I can talk to who isn't online to the point that literally only real comfort I have in this silly world is my dog but I'm meant to be training out her separation anxiety which at this point I probably have separation anxiety so now my mum's calling me selfish as if I need any more shit to cry about but of course as always EVERYONE ELSE has it worse and they 'understand'

Why do people shout it's just stupid like I only shout if someone shouts at me or they're like being horrible but why shout its just stupid 

Why do people act like they get it and then critisise me luke you don't get it if you do that 

I'm amazing like, why wouldn't you want to be friends with me? I can go from sobbing to laughing within seconds, I can write music, I can play guitar, I can train dogs that's pretty cool. I have a shit pain tolerance but I always push through it, I'm affectionate and caring. I read, I write, I love hugs, I'll put my mental health at risk to help the people I love. my room is well cool, I like photography, I always try to help even if I can't give advice to save my life. I always try so hard to be my best and I can still barely keep friends 

I want a gf that'll do my hair for me 

Hate secrets like when it's really good and your just so excited for them to know I get all jittery but fucking hell when its bad and you know it'll hurt someone if they find out but it feels so wrong to keep it from them