SquareIsntHome

I apologize to all to the zero people who reads my vents, I really hope I don’t make any of my followers uncomfortable. This is just the most comfortable place I can post these ugly thoughts, if I post them on any other, it will make me feel too vulnerable to be comfortable. It’s my fault I’m stupid to thinks someone will see these posts and try not to groom me. But I am in no position to actually tell anyone, I will fix my problems, because they are all in my head. I may delete all my books, I am just want to help myself. That’s what the better version of myself would do.

SquareIsntHome

I apologize to all to the zero people who reads my vents, I really hope I don’t make any of my followers uncomfortable. This is just the most comfortable place I can post these ugly thoughts, if I post them on any other, it will make me feel too vulnerable to be comfortable. It’s my fault I’m stupid to thinks someone will see these posts and try not to groom me. But I am in no position to actually tell anyone, I will fix my problems, because they are all in my head. I may delete all my books, I am just want to help myself. That’s what the better version of myself would do.

SquareIsntHome

Hello everypony!! Don’t be fooled my somber words, for I am just floating in my mind, no longer understanding on what’s going on in my head. I wish I could go out peacefully, happily, without pain towards me or others. Maybe that’s why I begged for release a couple of days ago, because I knew God would be the only able to give me rest. But I still woke up, and then woke up again. Why does God want to live? I think I’m raw from the experience, I’m not sure how I should feel about it. I know it’s not right for someone as young as me to plead for such things but I think it’s the only way I would be happy going out. In this world now, as people put it, is cruel and unforgiving. I don’t truly believe that is true, I think it is unfortunate. But I know by my age even I wouldn’t believe myself, so what do I really know? I’m not sure honestly, I’m not quite sure of many things. I think if you knew me you would soon understand, but I’ve given up on idiotic things such as friendships. I’ve learned my lesson. Thanks for everything, thanks for At least giving me memories for when I slowly die in my sleep or when I’m being abused by my future‘husband’, if I even get married. This world is unfortunate because of these dumb people. I wish my mom at least had a heterosexual white male baby, maybe then she won’t cry when I’m in the casket.

SquareIsntHome

Am I going crazy, have I been lead by a leash and are surprised when I’ve been mislead? I really, really, wonder what makes me deserving of all of this, why god put on this earth if it was gonna be on fire. Am I just a miracle just for my parents, are my wishes just seen a little kids Santa list? Am I really being heard, is there anyone actually for me. I think I should cut myself off from anyone when I get older, I won’t get hurt that way and nothing will affect me as much if I do. I am a shallow person, maybe I will even move and laugh and smile like a coward.

SquareIsntHome

I don’t know if this is hypothetical to say, but I think Dandy’s world kinda sucks, and I say as someone who does like that game as well. Confusing, but it’s more of a guilty pleasure? It has so much potential, that’s why I liked it, but know I feel it’s all wasted on safe mascot “horror” made by shitty people. This game and story could be so cool and actually horrifying. IF they just tapped in more of the lore and characters, giving more than just creepypastas versions that don’t even look cartoony honestly. It’s all just so frustrating. I really wanna make some sort of story that takes why DW could have been and hopefully make it better but not sure.