St0lenm0ments

Hi!
          I found you through your Jack Frost fanfic (don't worry about me, I decided to read it because I'm a huge nerd and a big rotg fan) and while it's well-written, I really hope that you are feeling better :)
          I hope you have an amazing, happy life filled with lots of love and big hugs :)

A poem I wrote today called I Didn’t Care.
          
          
          The emptiness is a fullness in its own way.
          Filling me with the courage to put one foot in front of the other for another day.
          Another hour. Push it off until after you shower.
          I’m not that hungry—and it wouldn’t matter if I was.
          Because it’s only when my body is close to shattering,
          When it screams and cries about it mattering—
          Then it’s real. Then I can feel.
          
          And when it’s too much, I turn to numbers.
          Their voices loud, like the thunder’s.
          It keeps the silence away.
          In the silence, the monsters like to play.
          And I can’t be there; monsters don’t play fair.
          
          I run and let numbers shout so I can survive.
          The number going down on the scale like a bribe.
          It’s a barbed wire lie winding around me—
          Caging and maiming, but whispering, “You’re free.”
          And sometimes, I am.
          
          But some days, it’s like repairing an always broken dam.
          Water pouring in—but hey, no dinner is a win.
          Back and forth, like tug of war with my self-worth—
          Or lack thereof.
          You think someday it will be enough.
          And when it’s not, you sit there shocked, like they didn’t tell you.
          
          But I always knew.
          I could feel those lies viscerally in the air.
          I just didn’t care

I have a mindfulness journal that I open every once in a while to a random prompt and just start writing. The prompt I chose today wasn’t one I was expecting to hit me so hard, but I thought I would share with you what I wrote.
          
          The prompt was: What have you overcome?
          
          I have overcome depression, self harm, eating disorders, addiction and abuse. I have overcome bad days, broken bones, and bad relationships. I have overcome writers block and low motivation. I have overcome clutter, messes, and loneliness. I have overcome grief, disappointment, and self hatred. I have overcome inconveniences, failures, and tragedies. I am strong.
          
          I realized by the end of this exercise that the purpose was to see with your own eyes everything you have lived through and realize you are strong. Being so caught up in your day to day you don’t realize the mountain you’ve climbed to get where you are. The book is called A Mindful Year by Emma Bastow for anyone interested.
          
          What have you overcome?

Woot woot new chapter of TRE!

Life update, I got a cat and I’m on antidepressants now lol. Feeling motivated to write so there will probably a chapter for both of my fanfics coming out soon :)

Hi how is everyone? I've been going through a bit of a shit time lately but its slowly getting better. Good music always helps me feel like I'm on top of the world. If you like indie pop/alternative/upbeat rock i suggest The happy Fit's song She Wants Me (To be Loved). It is making me happier and I hope it can make you feel happier too much love:)

I hope you are having a good day!

Writing this here so i don’t forget but also so anyone who wants to knows what to look forward to in the future :)
          
          Fanfictions I want to write:
          Avatar the last airbender
          Attack on titan
          My hero Academia
          Ouran high school host club?
          Possibly another final fantasy 15?
          Haikyu
          
          I feel like there was more… but if you have any one shot requests (even if i didnt write down the fandom here) i might do them if i know what it is
          
          

GUYS, please go check out my new fan fiction. It's about a video game called Final Fantasy 15!!! (The best video game ever-in my opinion at least) you don't necessarily NEED to play the game before you read it, I'll try my best to make it so people who have yet to play or have yet to finish the game, can still read it. Maybe at least read a summary of the game first? IDK bro but I'm so excited about it I cant even. Let me know how you like it!

I finally changed my profile picture to something other than the default after four years of having this account. Lol procrastination.