this message may be offensive
I'm so tired of having to follow what my parents want. They want me to show emotions or I'm too depressed and they have to sedate me. They don't want me showing TOO much emotion because then I'm overreacting and I get yelled at for both but after that it's always "why don't you tell me anything, I'm your parent you should trust me" if I tell them anything then I need to get over it and I can't tell them anything and I can't tell anyone else because Im overreacting again. They compare me to Lilah but we aren't the same fucking person. I have my issues and she has hers. I'm sorry I'm fucking struggling with my own shit like gender dysphoria, wondering until like 3 am if Im faking wanting to be a guy. I can't tell them shit because "it's just a faze and I'll grow out of it". I'm so fucking tired both mentally and physically. Every day it's the same thing. I can't get fucking sleep because my brain keeps me up. I'm so fucking tired. I get in trouble for reading and yet they are Sooooooo proud of me for it at the same time I feel like every good day has a shitty ending and it's the same cycle every fucking day. I don't have real problems it's just me overreacting and I feel like I don't even have a personality anymore. I feel like a fraud. I hate having to split my personalities for each person. Every side of the family knows a different version of me. I'm so tired of keeping up this facade. I haven't done shit all week and I feel like I'm falling into another fucking depression episode. I'm just tired. Goodnight guys
