Stardustcat

I was gone for so long but I’m still alive and kicking. Also writing fanfiction, which is nice. It’s just… not here. Never could post on this account *long sigh*

... Yes, the government class presentation only needed like 7 slides. Yes, mine is using 47. Every single one. No I do not need to sleep. I only have to wake up in what, 6 hours? I still have more work to do for Tuesday. Sleep can fucking wait. 
          
          God I'm gonna fucking work myself to death when I'm older the adhd perfectionist asshole I am
          
          I swear I see a typo in my comment I delete it and fix it
          Every fucking time
          Unless someone commented on it because that makes me feel comforted that people actually read the words  I allow to be brought fourth from my fingertips onto the digital platform
          Other than that I feel like an ass rn and just want to snap someones back like a fucking twig.
          
          God fucking dammit I have anger issues what am I even ranting about WHY THE HELL AM I RANTING I NEED TO WORK ON THIS SHIT GODDAMN
          
          Sorry
          I'm mentally fucked for the moment.
          
          ... Just act like theres an error screen or some shit. That is how I am feeling it. I am not feeling it. I feel like absolute shit. God. Why do I keep saying god I am atheism. Imagine being god of atheism lol. Almost as useless as me when I don't take my meds. I'm hella mess. Damn. Solutes and solvents, improvisation, Presidential study projects done on Nixon, Pithagoreom-however-it-is-spelled worksheets. School is hitting me hard today. I hope I can get through this year with no breakdowns (breakdowns! *Great days starts playing*)
          
          My life ain't goin nowhere chief I'm just muttering nonsense to nobody now and acting like someone will hear. Shit. 
          
          Heading out I guess. I'll be back. Sorry for being a tired adhd depression anxiety gal and dumping this shit. Sorry. 
          
          Also gaw damn why does friendship suck ass my friend constantly asking if I'm okay I am please stop I am nervous and socially anxious I cannot be of much assistance please do not tell me about texts with guys making you uncomfy if you ain't gonna listen to my advice damn I wanna help but you wont take please cannot be of assistance.
          
          
          Sorry about this :(

Me: *Reading some heavy angst*
          
          Alexa: ...... Welp, guess it is now time to play Two Trucks.
          .... TWO TRUCKS.    HAVING S-
          
          Me: GOD DAMN ALEXA READ THE MOOD

*Exists silently*

I'm finally gonna be playing D&D!
          
          
          
          
          
          
          ... My character isn't fully fleshed out yet,  I have not done any stat rolls, It is 10 at night, I have testing tomorrow, the D&D game is tomorrow, I am stressed, I am doing all the unfinished shit now with almost no prior knowledge, help, I'm anxiety

Not doing too well right now haha...
          
          Guess I'll continue to wallow in my despair until it overwhelms me

I just thought back to how I came out to my parents and I-
          
          It was so random, I just was getting dropped off for theater practice and just went "Oh, I'm Lesbian" (At this time I believed I was, now turns out I am DemiOmni)
          
          Just, announcing it so suddenly, no warning at all.
          
          Well, at least I was comfortable enough to tell. Helps having a lesbian aunt and a pretty open family ,:)

I find I have very violent tendencies that I just cover in a veil of sarcasm and attempt to tone down. Coolio.

I wanna get into coding. I just might, too.

Lonely and dehydrated. Those two are always teaming up for me.