Holden

Hey you here ? 

I can’t even go to fucking homecoming because of this death threat. It fucking sucksssssss
          I’m not even scared of the bitch and I’ve got a bunch of people who’ll back me up but noooo

I must be living life to the fullest if I’m getting death threats from someone at school I don’t even talk to 

Can tomorrow be a better day? Please?

There’s this girl at my damn school that I want to talk to but, fuck, I really want to hate her too

I love living in my own little world but it’s unhealthy so I can’t

People in the real world fucking suck

I fucking hate them

I thought I loved you
          
          I thought I was hurting myself
          
          But in reality, you were hurting me
          
          And now I feel like I’m the only one
          
          The only one of us working to stay friends.
          
          But that’s my fault isn’t it?

I’m causing myself so much pain
          
          Getting jealous when I have no right to, seeing  something that’ll never happen.
          But seeing it makes me happy, as long as I don’t let myself remember it’s only a dream.
          
          A dream that I don’t want to wake from.