StevenCraik

Hey everyone another chapter is now up for War of Glory. Please check it out and don't forget to vote! http://www.wattpad.com/10447819-war-of-glory-dreaming-memories?d=ud

MSchafer

This story to me would all be of one chapter and has a lot of potential of what it can be.  What it needs is back story support, and some more civilization building to help establish the surroundings and give it some direction.  But since the length so far is limited it can be hard to get a good foundation for your story.  When you wrote about writers block usually stopping you, try writting an outline for your story just like you would for a school paper.  The main points you want to convey will become the skeleton and the sub points make up the nerves, tendons, and skin, to create your very own frankenstein...lol  I found it easy enough to follow, and intresting enough to continue reading, so thats a good start.  The Villian has great potential too but needs more information, contact, or back story as does the technology/ lack of technology.  I envisioned him getting out of a black lincoln town car instead of charriot..you know??  So if its a car, but you dont want to call it a car...then how about a horseless chariot or machine or some descriptive help.  When I read chariot I think roman.  All of these things can not only strengthen your story, but also add to the length.  This is your world so anything that you want it to be it can be.  The best thing is that you are young and have a creative mind.  It may take years of development to get you where you really want to go with it, even if you have been writting for years already.  At least you have a computer and don't have to use a typwritter right?  Any way keep up the good work and if you want to, take a look at my book, I think you will like it, let me know if you do or don't and anything you feel would make it better, or something you would like to see happen in the second book.  Thanks and have a great one!

MSchafer

Hey hows it going?  Happy new year to you and good luck with your sports.  I just finished reading your story and wanted to leave some constructive direction for you.  First off congrats for taking the time and pushing yourself to create.  Your story caught my eye because the overview reminded me of a book I am working on now so I had to check it out.

StevenCraik

Hey guys, I might have to push back the completion date of Chapter 5 for War of Glory due to an 80 minute presentation that I had to work on for school. But now that it is done I can start on the new chapter, though unfortunately I am behind schedule.