Stormy_Cloud_

Hi are you continuing your stories please

So I have actually decided that I hate everything. In a week, I have to do a spoken presentation in English, for some fucking reason, and I have really bad anxiety and social anxiety anyway without this shit. I've already had 3 panic attacks over the thought of this presentation, and I either do it face to face in front of my entire class, or I do it virtually with my English head of department. Both of which will most likely cause me a panic attack. And if its virtually, chances are I will be whispering because I can't speak over video calls because of how anxious I get and so I'm probably going to fail the whole exam and it's fucking great because I don't know what to do anymore. And I don't want to mention anything to my teachers because I don't want to seem like I'm whining or just trying to get out of it. But yeah, overall anxiety is shit and I hate everything 

So, imma go on a bit of a rant here. So on Friday, I was in form (which I think is like homeroom in America, but I might be wrong) anyway, so my form teacher was reading out an email about uniform and how in Pe we can't wear really short shorts. But my form teacher explained it was because, "we have male members of staff and it might make things awkward". And I go to an all girls school (which seems kinda dumb considering how many non binary and some trans people there are there) but yeah, it made us uncomfortable. Then when we sent our teacher an email saying how it made us uncomfortable, today our head teacher came and explained why we it wasn't professional to have short shorts. So then we had to explain that we didn't have an issue on the shorts, but it was how our teacher phrased it, like we'd said in the email. So yeah... I'm kind of pissed off about it. But, I guess I'll have more news about it tomorrow or whatever. So... Bye I guess

Does anyone like, message a friend asking if they want to meet up the next day, but then realize that you're actually okay with staying at home like 5 minutes later,  and go to delete the message but they've already seen the message and said they can meet with you? Or is it just me.
          
          Btw,  I hope you're all okay and stuff like that. I know exams are coming up (or at least they are for me),  but yeah. Hope you're good. 

Ok, so I've been thinking about this a lot - and I don't understand why if you're friends with the opposite gender, in my case girl and a boy, that some people think that you like them. So one of my best friends identifies as male, and my mum - despite knowing that I'm pansexual - asked me if I liked him! But has she asked if I like any of my female friends - of course not! And I highly doubt that she would ask that if he still identified as female. Like wtf? 

Happy new year everyone :)
          Hopefully this year will be better, and if not at least there are some good films coming out this year. Please stay safe, and welcome 2021 I guess, I don't really know what to say. 

how is your day been

Okay, so I was doing my maths homework the night before it's due despite having a week to do so - just don't question it. But anyway, I came across a question and just, just tell me when in my lifetime, when I will need to be able to solve the inequality of 
          11/2g - 3/7 < 2 1/5g + 0.5.
          
          When? Just give me one reason why this is not a complete waste of time, braincells, and mental stability! Cause I cannot think of one and I don't even know where to start with this
          
          

A conversation I had with possibly my best friend on Friday:
          
          Her: if someone said "no offense, but you're the worst person in the world", how would you react because you can't really take offense
          
          My depressed ass: I'd probably believe them.
          
          Her: *laughs* you're so pessimistic it's funny (or something like that)
          
          My thoughts while trying not to break down: I'm glad my pain amuses you.
          
          I don't know why I posted this. I just find it really sucks when despite telling someone so many times that you're probably depressed that they still don't realise or get it. I guess it just really proves people who aren't  or haven't ever been depressed don't understand what you're going through. Sorry I wasted your time with this btw

So, in the Uk, Boris Johnson has said that there's going to be another month of national lock down or something like that, but schools are going to stay open. Now, I understand that the government doesn't want to disrupt education any more than it already has, but do they not realise that in my main class alone there are 31 people, so 31 different families mixing. And my school has year group bubbles so there's like over 100 families mixing... Yet they're saying you cant meet anyone from a different household meeting indoors unless they're part of your support bubble. How does this logic make any sense? Yes, younger people are less likely to suffer bad cases of the virus, but they can carry it onto more vulnerable people and not even suffer any symptoms. What the fuck is going on in the heads of the people who are meant to be running the fucking country?! Not to mention they're always arguing amongst each other. Sorry, I just needed to rant about this because I do not understand the logic at all.