inactive

finding my old wattpad account from when i was 12-13 feels like a humiliation ritual actually

hello
          
          i know you all think i'm dead, and for a while i thought that was for the best. 
          
          a lot has happened. i've changed and grown, i've gotten better and worse. medications and psychologists and frequently changing schools, suicide attempts and self harm, and a whole lot of hating myself and other people. love comes and goes and it hurts sometimes.
          
           i failed to kill myself in november of last year, and the first thing i thought when my life became semi-normal again was of you guys. as stupid as this sounds, wattpad was my everything in 2022. all of you meant the world to me. i made friends and enemies, laughed and stayed up until 2am on this godforsaken website. i thought that if i pretended i succeeded and left you all to think of me as dead, i'd find some fucked-up version of 'inner peace'. instead when i came back a bit ago to check on this account, i was just met with sadness. 
          
          to be honest, i still don't know if its a good idea to post this. it seems like such an asshole thing to do; "hey! i know i put you all through hell by pretending to be dead because i didn't want to deal with life!! sorry!!!" but i feel like you deserve to know i'm still here.
          
          moving forward, i will be inactive on this account. i have another wattpad that i've been using, though i'm not as active on there as i ever was on here. @starman_robbie 
          
          my discord is starman <3#0001, please feel free to reach out if we were close. over the next few days i'll be checking this account for dm's asking for my other socials, but if you want to have any other kind of conversations please talk to me anywhere but this account.
          
          i'm unsure if i'll delete this account, but if i do i'll post an announcement warning you of it.
          
          love always,
          Robin.

awe thank you so much! i love you very much too /p *hugs*

i may change my @ in the next few days just fyi- i'll make another announcement an hour or so before i do tho

what's crack-a-lackin' my dudes

buenos noches (:

i love nerds. and i don't mean nerds as in burnt out gifted kid.
          
          i mean nerds as in comic books. as in people who infodump about there favorite superhero or villan. as in saving up money for a lego death star. as in trying to have as much D&D dice as possible. as in feeling more confortable in a bookstore or library then in their own home.
          
          i fucking love them. but i don't know any other than myself. please. i just want someone to talk about superheroes with.

im terrified by going from 17 followers this morning to now having 71

"i pull men" "i pull women"
          mf i pull doors that clearly say 'Push'

it's my birthday lol