Phantom

Oh. My. God. 
          I get to draw Hawks in a dress for school, I can't -

Ah yes, i'm back yet again with a life update because no one on here knows who I am :). 
          I'VE GOT MY GROUP! If You've seen my last 'life update thing' on here, you'll know what I'm talking about. I've finally got my own friend group and I'm so so so happy! But, I won't get to see them as much anymore since our class is splitting up :') 
          That was basically it. 
          Bye! 

I always felt a part of that group, but now they've seperated into smaller groups and now I'm all alone. 
          
          I just realized, I'm no ones best friend. It all suddenly changed and I feel so alone. I'm always the one chasing after everyone, but no one chases after me. It just feels so disencourageing. 
          
          I'm trying to get the group back together, we have a party next weekend, a I think friend of mine organised it, it was their birthday last month. 
          I asked if we could perhaps hang out again, all of us, after our schools deadline. 
          I hope everyone will go and enjoy it, maybe even invite me into one of their groups? Maybe we'll form another one? I hope so, I want to be a part so bad. 
          
          Sorry again for the rant, it just makes me feel better. If you have any suggestions on what I can do, please tell me. Thanks. 

They don't like me anymore.
          
          I feel left behind. 
          
          Their all making plans without be, but I'm too scared to do anything about it because I'm scared I'll make it worse. 
          
          Do they hate me? 
          
          What did I do to deserve this..? 
          
          It was his fault in the first place, why am I getting blamed for his reaction? 
          
          Being mentally ill isn't an excuse for being a f*cking asshole. 
          
          Maybe ranting about it online will make me feel better. 
          
          I'm so scared of failing.
          
          I'm failing everyone. 
          
          Sorry Opa, Oma, Opa, Mimi, Mankie... Ik mis jullie zo erg... 
          
          Sorry for the rant ://

GUYS I NEED HELP!!! 
          My English Teacher wants me to Write a fanfiction within 400-500 words I'm currently writing the beginning with Gravity Falls characters and a character playing Bill from a fan fiction I recently read, he's called Bill Rephric in that one but I'm naming him here Will Rephric, it's less obvious that way ig? I hate my friends for telling her that I write and read fan fiction 
          Does anyone have some gravity Falls inspired ideas with the following characters:
          Dipper Pines, Mabel Pines, Bill Cipher, Will Rephric? 
          All I have so far is this: Mabel, Dipper and their new friend Will Rephric are walking alone, together, in the woods. Until something pops out of a Bush!!! It's a bunny. 
          Please help me, my writing skills under pressure are really bad
          (Please don't mind any mistakes I just made I'm writing this in a rush and English isn't my first language  and I taught myself since my primary school didn't teach me shit(I'm in high school now don't worry)) 
          PLEASE HELP, THANKS

40 more minutes until new years here, but if I forget, HAPPY NEW YEAR! I hope all of you have a happy and good 2022!! :)

Heeeeyyy, it's me again with my rants! I'm currently working on multiple books and way too much homework but again,my personal life always comes and ruins it.. so again about my cat. If you didn't know yet, she's 19, sick, deaf, demented and on pain meds. She isn't in pain, it just helps her function better. She's always had this problem with her stomach that she throws up often when given the wrong food, or just out of nowhere. Now without the pain meds she's really grumpy, but with she is really well, except, you guessed it, it makes her throw up. She's been getting worse lately and my mom is constantly reminding me that she is. My mom also says it could be a matter of weeks, months or even a small year. I really hope she makes it to 2022. Or even better, my birthday in the end of June. But she's probably not going to make that.. I love her so much. As some of you might know, my grandfather passed away 2 months ago. I was very close with him. I have this immunotherapy which is so exhausting, I have about 16 subjects, which I all have home work for, I have to make my own schedule on when I do my work and when I do tests, also I have ADHD (of course I do because my life is just so amazing :/) so help with that takes up 6h a week, immunotherapy takes a whole day, not to mention that I get sick really fast, why you might ask? Because my body hates me and decides to not make me gain any weight. Don't get me wrong, I eat what a normal human eats, I'm just 9 kilos underweight. This is not dangerous for me because I was born 6 weeks too early, so I've had underweight since the day I was born. And I trailed off again. I wanted to talk about my cat who's probably dying and I'm over here talking about my health issues :/. That's it. Thank you if you took the time of your day to read this, and if not, idk I can't do anything about it. Also, side rant, I feel like a pick me if I rant like this. Give me your real opinion please if you think so too<3
          Bye! 

{Vent}
          Hey, 
          I just started my fifth week of my immunotherapy, I'm so f*cking tired. I have so much homework to do. It's the second day of autumn break. My 19 Year old cat started taking some painkillers again after we stopped for a week. She didn't eat this morning, she finished it while we were at the hospital. I was so worried about her, she's my best friend and she's been here my entire life, I can't loose her now, I picked up my grandfather's ashes yesterday. My great aunt fell on some rocks two days ago, she was laughing about it so it was quite funny. I barely have time to do anything but homework. I'm so tired. I want to stop, I have to take all of this medication, have migraines, go to the hospital on Tuesday ect. But don't worry about me, it isn't anything major. I doubt anyone is going to read this but it feels nice talking/writing about it somewhere where it's not private. I feel like I can't talk about it with my friends because in some way or another "they always have it worse." Anyways. I'm currently writing another new story. I'll probably post the first chapter in a few months. :) 
          Bye. 

Heyyyy, I'm back and I'm SICK. GODVERDOMME NOU OOK WEER
          I was supposed to go celebrate my grandma's birthday today, she turned 80, we would go and canoe I think? BUT GUESS WHO'S SICK! I got my second corona vaccination yesterday (pfizer) and I had the worst night of my life. I hate everything at the moment because I can't get out of bed and I'm babysitting 2 cats for my friend. So I'm going to have to get out of bed, put some clothes on, oh yeah, did I say yet that I just got my F*CKING PERIOD, And I'm so tired and I can't move and this headache is killing me, along with cramps. Anyways then I have to have breakfast or otherwise my mom will yell at me, then I have to walk like 100 m to my friends house (omg yes I know that is like, so far away) I have to cuddle with the cats, play their piano, feed the cats first before I do that, and then go home and do my math homework. :/
          

I know that I never post Anything personal on there but I really need to vent right now, and I need some cheering up. I'm at my grandfather's house at this moment. The doctor is here, my grandfather's cancer has grown, he has lung cancer. He's had this for about 4 years, after my grandma (his wife) passed, also from lung cancer, I've lost 2 grandparents already and now I'm about to lose a third. He has about 1 month left. I'm literally crying my eyes out in silence because I don't want my mom to worry about me. My grandpa is very tough but he's getting weaker, to the point that he can barely make it to the bathroom, the doctor is now talking about putting him to sleep. They also did that to my grandmother. My mom is now talking about her and she's also crying. Can please someone cheer me up? I'm begging. 
          -Phantom