So I took two towels into the bathroom for my shower, stripped then realised I left my shower gel in my room. So, as I pulled one of the towels from the hook a wild spider appeared causing me to jump out of my skin - metaphorically.
Dear spider,
I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you're looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money but what I do have are a very particular set of skills. Skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you get out of my house, that will be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you and I will kill you.
