It hurts like I'm in a hell where I can't breathe. My ship has sunken but my pain will not relieve. My relievers to pain is to dream that my ship still exists. But my mind does not agree. But that is not reality I'm willing to obliterate anything for my ship to be revived and sailing. I know I am crazy for my pleasure.

My life is based around books and stories not around reality.

Do not question my personal life as I am in a state of anger and sadness.

It lasts for days and weeks and years maybe decades. I can never over come my fears of my ship failing to sail.


It really does hurt like hell...