WeirdAnimeGirl777

I have ADHD and it's choosing violence today, I'm trying to write but it feels like I physically can't I'm dying
          
          Btw Thank you for 15 followers❤

I've been writing on Wattpad for like 8 months and my sister just decided to hop on the boat
          
          She's always been an assistance needing type person and I know that
          
          I don't know why I encouraged her to follow her dreams because those 'dreams' aren't an actual dream or a passion, its just a thing she'll quit after 4 months
          
          I don't even know why I'm up helping her
          Its 1 AM and I'm supposed to be writing stories for my Wattpad account and yet here I am catering to her and writing story plots for her rather than finishing or continuing stories that I created by myself using my own creativity and ideas
          
          Its not like I mind helping her out a little but I should be helping myself rather than her who's a year and 4 months older than me and that just today figured out what a story plot was
          
          I just feel like she should me independent and reliant on herself rather than her younger sister
          I don't mind being her backbone and helping her walk through this but writing story plots for her is a bit much, helping her with ideas is one thing but literally writing plots for her is a bit crazy

Anyone else running a fever of 102.7?
          
          I am!!!
          
          Btw I'm still a minor so I live with my parents and I'm not sure if I should wake them up..
          My dad is a heavy sleeper so I'm not sure if he'll hear me or know what to do
          My mother is a light sleeper so I could tell her but she is terrifying when she wakes up

Haven't posted an announcement in a while, doin' good so far, my day hasn't been the best but its definitely been a day!
          
          On the 11th of may I will be going to my cousins birthday party and hopefully one of her friends will be there so we can geek out about anime!
          
          A lot has happened in the past several months and I haven't updated my Irl story in FOREVER so sorry about that
          
          Some time last month I watched the Ramshackle pilot
          (If you haven't watched it its on YouTube so go watch it if you want to)
          
          when I do eventually update my Irl story there will be a lot to read so be prepared for that if you do read it
          
          That's all I have 
          I don't have anything else to talk about or say

A new Tomioka angst part published!!

I have trauma and I'm just barely realizing it
          
          I can run perfectly fine but I have dreams where I just can't run fast enough when something is happening and I'm running so slow that I have to crawl and apparently its because in those dreams my legs hurt
          
          I also don't like being left behind
          
          Why? 
          
          The whole running thing is because when I was really young I had leg pains for days and I was outside playing with my older sister, it wasn't growing pains but those pains were so bad that I collapsed onto the driveway, but the trauma comes from my sister apparently not hearing me say several times to slow down, stop, or come back when I was literally 5 feet away from her
          
          And I also have a fear that people will leave me behind because a couple years after that I had to do my chores but I had to do them quickly because my older sister and my mom were going to the store and I wanted to go too but even after promising me they wouldn't leave.. They left, and also they tend to leave the house or do things without telling me so that's a part of that too.
          
          To this day I still have dreams about not being able to run and when my family has to go somewhere but i have something to finish up or do I have to say "don't leave without me" because I have such a GREAT family.

Me and my family have 3 boxers but 4 dogs in total
          The 3 boxers are Sasha Axel and Lil 
          
          Lil is the youngest and she's also Sasha and Axel's pup
          Lil and Sasha are defensive over food and Lil loves antagonizing Sasha by eating food in front of her.
          
          My dad, my mom, and my sister all believe that Sasha would have the ability to rip Lil apart but I honestly disagree. 
          Last night Lil killed a huge rat by pouncing on it and cracking its skull open, we've had Sasha and Axel for over almost 7 or 8 years now and not once have they killed any rats or anything else other than swallowing flies, and to think Lil did it just to play and not even out of aggression or a protective instinct.
          
          I full heartedly believe that Lil could and would kill Sasha if they ever fought, Sasha can't even protect her food form Axel stealing it and Lil is over here killing huge rats all because the wanted to have fun and play with a huge rat.
          
          I'm still flabbergasted that Lil just killed a huge rat not even meaning to

I'm taking a break from writing

"eat more"
          "Stop eating so much" 
          "Don't dirty so many dishes"
          "You're too skinny" 
          "You should eat more" 
          "Eat healthier"
          "Why are you eating so much?"
          "You need to slow down on the food"
          "Why don't you eat enough?" 
          "Don't dirty more dishes"
          "we're going through food too fast, stop eating as much"
          
          Okay.... I have to eat to survive but I can't eat because I'm eating too much but I'm not eating enough and I have to eat more but I can't because I'm going through food too fast but I need to eat more because I'm too skinny but I can't because using utensils, plates, and bowls for their purpose of creation is a crime...
          
          Can anyone please explain the logic to me? Why does my mom say "eat more" and then "don't eat so much"
          Is there a balance in between or should I start eating air to save food and dishes?

If I haven't gone days without eating and no one is making dinner and there's no quick food to make then I won't eat
          
          I'd rather lay in bed and rot than go out to the kitchen and figure out what to make just to starve anyway because there's absolutely nothing that I can make at 1:47 Am in a house with 3 other people who wake up by a mouse running across the floor
          
          I'm going to be starving for the next 3 days until I get the motivation to get up and make myself a sandwich.